He's been telling me he was ready for weeks. But I wasn't ready. Taking off those training wheels (in my mind, anyway) meant a potentially painful process. Would he fall and get hurt? Would he get frustrated? Would I get frustrated? Would he have a bad experience and never want to ride again? And, let's be honest, I didn't want to let go of the ease and security of being able to go for walks without the added "hassle" of waiting for a wobbly novice bike rider (I know, so selfish). But there's another thing those training wheels represented, too. It meant my little boy is growing up. That he's doing big kid things. That sooner than I'm ready for, he's going to be riding all around the neighborhood on his bike, all on his own, without me and my watchful care. It's one more way he's leaving my nest and spreading his wings. It's one more symbol of his growing independence and proof that he needs me less, and, worst of all, the reality that grows closer all the time that one day he will leave and be completely on his own. And just like I feared letting him go for that first time on his bike, I wonder and worry, "Will he get hurt? Will he get frustrated? Will he have a bad experience that will keep him from trying again?"
And then something magical happened. He did it. And it all happened so fast. Grant had taken off his training wheels and Eliot was off and riding before I even realized what was going on. And Eliot was fine. More than fine -- he was amazing! Confident, able, excited! And, maybe even just as amazing, so was I! I was so excited! I was filled with a level of pride and happiness and excitement that I wasn't prepared for. Just like he'd been telling me, he was ready. He did awesome. And I stood back and wiped a few stray tears from my eyes, not because I was sad, but because I was so proud and excited for Eliot's big day. I have vivid memories of the first time I rode a bike without training wheels. I was so excited I was able to do it, I took off around the block (something I was forbidden to do), with a trail of neighbors and friends behind me. It was exhilarating. And maybe that had a lot to do with my feelings of excitement for Eliot -- I remember how that felt and had an idea how he was feeling, and I was so happy for him to have that moment.
We walked behind Eliot while he went for a surprisingly long ride. He didn't want to stop, and so we let him. We let him go. And go and go. And as Grant and I walked and marveled, I felt so strongly in those moments that, in all those future moments when I will hesitate and worry as a parent, I will be okay. My kids will be okay. They will try hard things, and they and I will be surprised at what they will accomplish. Maybe not all of our firsts will be as smooth as Eliot's first bike ride. There will undoubtedly be some bumps and bruises and maybe even some big crashes, but it will all turn out okay in the end. They have to let go, and try new things, and I have to let them. Because only when I do can truly amazing things happen.
This was such a great day! I hope Eliot will remember it. I know I will.
Even little brother joined in the excitement. He was adamant about wearing his own helmet (you can never be too safe; those Radio Flyers can be dangerous, after all!). Zach got so excited for Eliot that he wanted to jump out of the wagon and run behind. It was quite the sight to see our bike rider followed by his helmet-head little bro running as fast as his little legs would carry him (and his shoe fell off more than once).
Not quite ready for you to grow up on me, buddy! But when it's your turn, I promise I'll let you go, too. And you'll be amazing, just like your brother.
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