2010: The Best Is Yet to Be

Okay, here goes my plug.

Many of you know that I worked for Church magazines for a couple of years after I graduated. I worked for the Liahona, the Church's international magazine, but I was part of the editorial board for all four of the Church magazines. My experience there wasn't quite what I expected it to be, for more reasons that I can or want to get into in this post, but I'll just say that I always dreamed of working there. I dreamed of working there as an editor and not an administrative assistant, but nonetheless, my dream was partially reached, right? But having worked there and having had a "behind-the-scenes" look at how those miraculous magazines come together, I am more than excited to plug the new format of the magazines, which you'll notice in the January 2010 issues. I got my Ensign the other day and LOVED what I saw. Lots of the changes and innovations that I heard talked of when I was there are now in place, and it looks fantastic. Be sure to check it out and read the guide to how to use the new format in the front of the magazine. Some great changes.

Speaking of great changes, a new year is upon us. I am really excited for 2010. I've been waiting for 2010 for many years now. This year has a lot in store for me and my family. This is Grant's graduation year, the year we will brave "the Bar" (dun, dun, dun), the year we will say goodbye to our Oregon era and try to find our places again in Utah, the year Grant will hopefully become an attorney for real and we'll leave our student years behind. And hopefully not too far beyond 2010, becoming "real adults" and buying our first home and adding on to our family ... no wonder I have so much anticipation for the coming year or two!

With all of that in mind, I was very moved and inspired by Elder Holland's message, "The Best Is Yet to Be," in the January issue of the Liahona and Ensign. His message gave me new insights, it gave me courage, it reminded me that faith points to the future and doesn't wallow in the past. It taught me to let people (including myself) repent, grow up, and become better. It reminded me of the counsel given to Lot's wife to "look not behind thee," or as Elder Holland puts it, to not allow my "attachment to the past [outweigh my] confidence in the future." Some great counsel as I face a new year that will be a big one for me and my family.

I feel ready to move forward. I feel ready to not look back, to dive in head first, to allow good things to happen in my life and in the lives of those I love. I feel ready to become a better person and kick some bad habits. I feel ready to watch my husband soar in the new wings of his career. I'm excited to watch my son thrive in the nurturing care of extended family. I'm excited to set ambitious goals for myself and move beyond limits I've set for myself. I'm excited for what our future holds.

Which is a big deal for me. I've had some setbacks in my personal life over the last few years that have hindered my ability to hope. I haven't always allowed myself to believe that good things could happen because I've become terrified of the bad things that can and do happen to people, innocent and good as they may be. I've witnessed suffering in my own family and have wondered if life will ever be normal and happy instead of dysfunctional and scary again. But I feel that finally I'm bursting from my cocoon of fear and realizing that my life is not dependent on my circumstances to be ideal in order for me to experience happiness or to see "hope shining brightly before" me and my family. I really believe that there is light at the end of the dark tunnel I've been traveling in, and I'm ready to embrace that light watch good things unfold for me, for Grant, for Eliot, for all of us.

I have to credit the source of my hope, for fear that you might think it's something I've come by of my own efforts. I know where that peace and happiness is coming from. It's coming from the only true source of light in this "dark and dreary" world. The source of my hope is the only true Source of hope there is -- the Savior Jesus Christ. The Lord truly is my Light. I can't say that I have the strongest relationship with Him lately, but I've been working on some goals in my life to make more room for Him, and slowly, quietly, I am feeling more and more of His influence in my life, and consequently, more and more hope.

Again from Elder Holland, "Some of you may wonder: Is there any future for me? What does a new year or a new semester, a new major or a new romance, a new job or a new home hold for me? Will I be safe? Will life be sound? Can I trust in the Lord and in the future? Or would it be better to look back, to go back, to stay in the past? To all such of every generation, I call out, 'Remember Lot’s wife.' Faith is for the future. Faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there. Faith trusts that God has great things in store for each of us and that Christ truly is the 'high priest of good things to come' (Hebrews 9:11). Keep your eyes on your dreams, however distant and far away. Live to see the miracles of repentance and forgiveness, of trust and divine love that will transform your life today, tomorrow, and forever. That is a New Year’s resolution I ask you to keep."

May your 2010 be filled with light, dreams, and hope.

Honored

I want to tell you what's happened in the days since my most recent post. I posted a link to the YouTube "Mormon Message" that features the beautiful song "Do You Have Room For the Savior?" written by Shawna Edwards. At the end of the video, Shawna provides her e-mail address for anyone who would like an MP3 copy of the song. The more I've watched that video, the more I've come to appreciate that song. Lyrically, poetically, musically, it is a masterpiece. So I e-mailed Shawna for a copy, and was surprised by her quick, personal reply, in which she told me that she's not charging for copies of the MP3, but that, in her words, it does come "with a price." She's collecting stories from everyone who requests a copy of the song. Specifically she wants to know how the song has inspired people to make room for the Savior in their lives. So I sent her a copy of what I'd written on my blog, and then, a few hours later, sent her a "P.S." e-mail of what I wish I would've told her. I sent a quick paragraph about what a specific portion of the video had meant to me as a young mom. Again, I was surprised by her quick and personal response, this time a request to include a portion of my "story" on her blog. For someone as gifted with words as this woman is, I was so touched that she'd want to post my story -- my simple blurb about how her video helped me stop feel down in the dumps about the mundane tasks of motherhood. Here's what she included on her blog:

From Monica, in Salem, Oregon:

There's one split-second clip in the video, right near the end, that shows a mother praying with her children. I can't tell you how much that little part meant to me when I saw it. I had just been watching scenes of other great service that people render for those in need, and I felt a bit ashamed that I'm not currently doing any of those things. With a husband in law school and an active little two-year-old son, I'm happy to keep afloat most days, let alone find time for organized acts of service.
But when I saw that clip of that sweet mother praying with her children, I thought, "but I am doing that." I felt such a powerful witness of how mothering provides some of the greatest opportunities for making room for the Savior. I don't always feel like I'm making a huge difference in the world right now -- my world is diaper changes, macaroni and cheese, sippy cups and naptimes. But that little portion of the video reminded me that I can make room for the Savior in my home and in my child's heart through the little things -- the hugs, the prayers, the scripture stories, the Primary songs sung as lullabies.
Tonight as I rocked my little one before bed and sang "I'm Trying to Be Like Jesus," I heard your song in the back of my mind and felt that tonight, in a humble little apartment, there was room for the Savior.

All I could tell Shawna in response to her request to put that on her blog was that I felt "honored." And I do. In my few communications with that amazing woman, I have such an admiration for her. She's a heart-and-soul stay-at-home mom who has put her incredible musical talents on the back burner for the past 30 years while she's raised her beautiful family. Now that her youngest is off in his mission, she feels that her window is now open to put her gifts to use in a way that won't "shortchange her kids." She seems so down to earth and lovable. She was born and raised in Orem, and from what I can tell, has raised her own family there. I'd love the chance to meet her someday. Her responses to me about my simple little testimony of motherhood helped validate the feelings in my heart that there is truly no more important role in this life or eternity for any woman than to care for our Heavenly Father's little ones. It's so nice to know that other women, amazingly talented ones at that, feel the same way. I am in awe of women like Shawna, whose gifts are such that she could have easily had a phenomenal career in the field of her choice, and yet, her choice was to raise a beautiful family, and to let her talents bless them. I love that!

Within the same time frame that I was communicating with Shawna, I was on Facebook one day and saw the photos off to the side with my group of friends. It so happened that the few pictures showing at that time were almost all friends of mine who are in the same phase of life as me -- raising little ones while supporting husbands in school or at the beginning of their careers. I smiled as I saw women I admire, women of faith who are gentle and sweet and loving. All talented, bright women, many with degrees in fields in which they are very good at. And yet, like Shawna, have put things aside for a season so they can give motherhood their undivided attention. Love or hate Facebook, I think one of the things I've loved most is the unity I feel among women I've come to know over the years who are doing and loving the same thing I'm doing, in many different cities all over the country (and the world, in some instances!). I feel a strong link with all of those women as I see and hear about the things they're doing as they participate in motherhood, and in turn, make room for the Savior in their lives and in the lives of their precious children. To be a part of that, to be a mother, to feel of its profound importance when the world would dismiss parenthood as old-fashioned and a waste of talent, makes me feel so blessed, so privileged, so, well, honored.

Making Room for the Savior

The more I watch this video, the more I am touched. The more I want to find quiet time with my scriptures. The more I want to find some way to serve others this Christmas season. The more I want to be more humble and gentle and loving. The more I want to emphasize baby Jesus and the Nativity story more than Santa and lights and candy with Eliot. The more I want to open my heart to the forgiveness and healing I need. The more I want to become like the Savior I know and worship and love.

I want each of you, as people who love me and care enough to read about my life, to know that I do believe in Jesus Christ. He is the Light of the World; the light of my world. In moments too personal and sacred to share, I have come to know Him; and I know that He knows me. I know that He suffered for my sins and yours and that He lives. I know that because He lives and overcame death, my loved ones who have passed on -- Nana, Papa, Grandpa, Aunt Marilyn, Grandma Moore, and many others I barely had the chance to know in this life -- now live and I will get to be reunited with them one day if I live worthy of that blessing. I know that I can read about and come to love my Savior through the teachings in the Bible and Book of Mormon, and through the words of modern prophets, including President Thomas S. Monson, who stands as a living witness of Christ on the earth right now. I know my life doesn't always perfectly reflect my belief in and love for Jesus Christ. I know that I have so far to go in becoming like Him, but I want to love as He loves, to live as He lived. Because of the precious sacrifice of His life and the suffering He bore, I know that I can overcome my shortcomings and mistakes and become more like Him as I try to improve each day.

This Christmas I'm going to try to make more room for the Savior in my life.

LOL

I must have a weak spot for any silly video featuring babies, because Grant came home SO excited to show this to me and told me he KNEW that I would love this. Well, I did love it. So much I laughed out loud -- hard -- almost until I cried. Hope it makes you laugh, too! Or maybe things are a little funnier during finals time?! All I know is Eliot and I have some skills to work on while Grant's away studying.

So Much to Be Thankful For

I loved this Mormon Message recently posted on YouTube. It has gotten me thinking about the things I'm thankful for. There are so many things, from random simple pleasures (I'm thankful for the Andes mint cookies my mom and I discovered at the store today, for example) to the very big things, like being thankful for my faith in God and my knowledge of His plan for me and my family. Here are a few other things I've been thinking about this week in anticipation of Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for?

I'm thankful for ...

• My health. Seems like I've been more aware of what a blessing this is over the past year. Lots of different factors and events of this past year have made me really grateful that my family and I are well and have healthy bodies. I'm thankful I can see, hear, walk, play with my son, and enjoy so many things in this beautiful world because my body is healthy and strong.
• My family. I'm especially thankful for my good husband who works so hard for our family and who makes me so happy. I adore and cherish my little Eliot, who is my joy and delight. I love being a mother and getting to see the world through my child's eyes. I'm grateful for wonderful parents and in-laws who have done so much for me. I love my siblings and their spouses and children. I look forward to moving back closer to them so I can have more frequent contact with them.
• Good friends. So many of my good friends have become like family to me, especially while we've been away. I rely on my friends here in Oregon to fill the gaps in my life that have come from not having family close. I am humbled by friends who offer to serve me and are somehow able to pass off their favors to me as a blessing to them. I have been strengthened by the influence of good people in my life. I know that I am a better person because of the examples of those who have served and loved me and become eternal friends. I'm grateful to know that, if I'm really good, I might get to be heavenly neighbors with some of my favorite people someday.
• Education. I'm especially grateful for Grant's education. We are thankful for the opportunity he's been given to get an advanced degree. We know it will be worth the sacrifice involved. I'm grateful for my own education and how it's helped me prepare for motherhood. I'm thankful for the skills and knowledge I'm now able to use in raising my son. I'm thankful for the small ways that I've been able to supplement our income through my talents and abilities. It makes me feel good to be able to help our family in even small ways. I'm thankful for the love of reading my parents have passed on to me and the role of good literature in my life. I'm uplifted by good music regularly and thankful for its positive and sacred influence in our home. I'm thankful for the scriptures and to be spiritually nourished through my studies. I'm thankful for the learning opportunities provided by my church service and daily as a mother. I'm even thankful for the "hard things" in my life that force me to be brave and try new things.
• Employment. We don't have a lot of income right now, but what we have makes a huge difference. Grant's job has been the answer to my prayer that I prayed at the beginning of our law school experience. When I prayed for guidance in where to go to school and that everything would turn out well for Grant and for us as a family, the scripture that kept coming to my mind was "... prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it" (Malachi 3:10). There have been many blessings throughout our law school journey, but I feel that my answer has been most demonstrated by Grant's employment opportunities, which have been greater than we could have ever dreamed, especially given such a difficult economy. We pray that all will come together as we hope, and feel overwhelmed by how mercifully we have been taken care of. We have had to pinch our pennies and be very careful, but we have always had just enough to meet our needs.
• Simple pleasures. I'm thankful for sunny days, for a thoughtful, handwritten card from a friend, for love notes on post-its from Grant in my kitchen cupboards. I'm thankful for special times with Eliot, like watching Jeopardy together while snuggling under a blanket and sharing a special treat. I'm thankful for Eliot's delight at small things -- seeing the garbage truck, hearing a plane, jumping to a favorite song, welcoming his daddy home at the end of the day, giggling hysterically when he "scares" anyone when they come out of the restroom. I'm thankful for the occasional date night with Grant when we get to remember, even if only for an hour or so, what it was like to eat a meal straight through and be able to pay full attention to one another. I'm thankful for simple kindnesses -- when Grant makes the bed in the morning, when a friend tells me how much she enjoys Eliot, when ward members forgive our inability to serve as wholeheartedly as we'd like to because of the demands on our time and resources while Grant is in school ... the little things really make a big difference in my daily life.

One of my favorite talks about gratitude was "Oh Remember, Remember" by President Henry B. Eyring, in which he urged us to "find ways to recognize and remember God's kindness. It will build our testimonies. You may not keep a journal. You may not share whatever record you keep with those you love and serve. But you and they will be blessed as you remember what the Lord has done. You remember that song we sometimes sing: 'Count your many blessings; name them one by one, And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.'"

I hope that you will find many reasons of your own to be thankful, not just this Thanksgiving, but always. Have a wonderful day and season celebrating the many things the Lord has done for you.

Lucky Seven

Grant and I have been married seven years on the 22nd. Seven years! Supposedly that's a real "landmark" anniversary in a marriage -- some people like to say that, statistically speaking, if you can make it to seven years, "you're gonna make it." We're not superstitious nor do we subscribe to the belief that all you have to do to "make it" in marriage is meet a magical quota; I think the longer we're married (and the deeper Grant gets into his career in family law), we're learning it's an endeavor that requires every ounce of faith we've got, a whole lot of work, patience, commitment, forgiveness, and humility ... among many other things. But whether or not we feel like we've made it to our "lucky" anniversary or not, we certainly feel lucky to have each other! Happy seven years, love!

Tell Me What You Think ...

To grow out the bangs or not grow out the bangs ...

THAT is the question!

Help Wanted

This sign first caught my eye because the "Eliot" in this business is spelled just how we spell the name of our Eliot, which seems to be an unusual spelling. But then I got thinking more about the sign and thought, do you think they could help me learn how to manage my Eliot? 'Cause I could use some Eliot management skills right about now ...

A Peek Into My Past

Maybe it's Christmas on the horizon, but something's gotten me thinking about my childhood lately, and I thought it might be fun to post funny pictures from my past or odd little things that take me back to my goofy childhood years of playing (and fighting) with my five sisters. It was a lot of Barbie, My Little Pony, playing "Nadia" in the backyard in my sister Melissa's gymnastics leotards, making all kinds of crazy concoctions in the kitchen (mayonnaise and sprinkle sandwiches, anyone?), and of course, plenty of TV. We watched everything from Fraggle Rock to Madonna MTV videos, and a whole lot of Nickelodeon. If you had Nickelodeon as a kid and are from "my era" (I'm now 30 years old), you might remember this gem of a show, "Today's Special," or as my sister Lauren called it, "Jodie and Jeff" (the two main characters). I've included two clips for your viewing pleasure: one of the introduction/opening credits, and the other of my favorite episode of all time, when Jodie saves the department store from being torn down. I'm predicting your reaction to these clips being one of two things: 1) Absolutely thrilled nostalgia (I LOVED watching these for the first time with my bro-in-law, Louie, who is my age and shared our cable kids' TV obsession), or 2) complete bewilderment and/or a greater understanding of why I turned out how I did. Either way, enjoy a little blast from my past.

Utah Jazz Meets The Office

Two of my favorite things combined in one commercial -- Utah Jazz and The Office. Love this! Gets me excited for NBA b-ball (no matter how the Jazz do this year) ... go Jazzers!

Portland Weekend

Grant was in Portland for a few days this week for a national Moot Court competition. He had a great experience and his team did really well. They didn't advance to the finals, which Grant says was a relief; he's been working so hard for the last few months and is glad to be finished. Up next are his final exams (yuck!), but before we dive into that, we got to enjoy a fun little getaway in Portland. Thanks to our friends' over-the-top generous offer to take Eliot for the night, I got to join Grant for a relaxing night in Portland, and then Eliot joined us the next day for a trip to the OMSI museum. What a great little last hoorah before we dive into the long weeks of finals prep!

Here's where we got to stay -- The Nines Hotel in downtown Portland -- a super posh and funky place. Definitely not the "family style" places we're used to staying! We got to walk around downtown and window shop, and had a fabulous dinner at Pastini, a local pasta place. The atmosphere was fun and the food was delish!

Saturday morning we waited in line (seriously!) to have our first "Voodoo Doughnut" experience. What a bizarre little place, but seriously amazing donuts! The "Portland Cream" (supposedly the "official donut of Portland") was to DIE for! You can order Cookies n' Cream donuts, cream-filled donuts with Oreo cookies on top, a Voodoo doll-shaped donut with a pretzel stabbed into it (told you it's a bizarre place!), or even a bacon-maple donut, a maple bar with strips of bacon on top. It looked disgusting to me, but my friend Mary says it's really yummy (I'll take her word for it)!

I loved the box and stamp on top almost as much as I loved the donuts.

After indulging in way too many donuts, we picked up Eliot and checked out OMSI, the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry. It was amazing! As with the rest of the weekend, we were so busy we didn't take time to stop and take many pictures, but here are the few we took:

Me in the "Scream/Goose Bumps" exhibit, an exhibit all about the science of fear. I loved that these pictures were right next to each other because I'm terrified of needles, and I have a sister who's deathly afraid of clowns. This picture's for you, Lauren!

Eliot in the Science Playground, where we spent most of our time. As you can see, he loved the water tables and the sandbox most of all. I thought the little chipmunk costumes they had in the little "forest" area were too adorable and insisted on getting a picture of him in one. He tolerated me putting it on him but then ran off to the other exhibits.

It was a whirlwind of a weekend, but so much fun! It's sad that we've lived so close to Portland for over two years but have barely even scratched the surface of the amazing things to see. We'll definitely have to take a few more trips up there over the next several months. (Maybe we'll invest in a GPS in the meantime ... we spent a lot of time getting "un-lost" this weekend!) With Grant's busy schedule with Moot Court nationals and now finals on the horizon, it was great to squeeze in a fun and relaxing weekend together!

Happy Thoughts ...

This is just a short, sweet post to share some of the things that are putting a smile on my face these days.

A little over a week ago Grant had his picture taken at school. The photo will be hung in the law school's hallway next spring with a yearbook-style composite photo of his graduating class.

At the trunk-or-treat at the church on Halloween, a friend who has since moved out of our ward was catching up with me and asked, "So, you guys only have one semester left, right?" I almost quickly told her, "No," but then I realized after this semester, we DO have only ONE semester left ...

The END is coming! I know I promised I wasn't going to wish this last year away, but ... we're almost DONE! Only two more sets of finals, only one more semester of paying for books, of Grant gone for night classes, studying on Saturdays, etc., etc., etc.

We really aren't going to be students forever. THAT is a happy thought.

Taking Your Requests

I've been thinking for a while now that it would be fun to take "your requests" and add some new tunes to my Playlist. I've been listening to the same old stuff for a while now and I'm ready to mix things up a bit. So, here's what I want you to do. In a comment, give me at least one favorite song (or several, if you want). Don't worry about matching my genre -- just tell me what YOU like! My only request is keep it clean (no swearing, vulgarity, or suggestive lyrics). But beyond that, sky's the limit -- introduce me to something new and fun or tell me your all-time favorite! I really do like most anything, even if you've tagged me as an "easy listener" by what's currently on my playlist! In my concert-going days I saw bands like Counting Crows, John Mayer, U2, Boingo, The Cure (yes, me!), Indigo Girls, Sting, ska bands, etc. ... so really, I'm game for just about anything! If you're a reader of my blog but never comment, don't be shy ... I'd love to get a request from as many people as possible! I'm excited to assemble a fun mix of songs liked by the people I like!

It's Autumn Time ...

Which, at our house, means it's time to bundle up, grab KFC to go, and head to the Riverfront Park for a cozy picnic and stroll. It was a gloomy day, but still fun to carry on this little tradition. And for tradition's sake, we also took plenty of pictures. We got some great shots, except for the fact that Eliot's a stinker when it comes to looking at, let alone smiling for the camera these days. One thing we'll miss about Oregon is how friendly and willing people are to take pictures. The nicest people offered to take pictures for us which resulted in some really nice candid pics of our fam. Here are several of our favorites ...

Fantastic of all of us, don't you think? That's my boy!

Almost picture perfect. "Stare at the camera blankly, Eliot."

This tree was unbelievable. As much as I really like how this picture turned out, I wish it had better captured the bright orange color of the leaves ... a digital SLR is calling me (from a few years away, but still calling ...)

A little fuzzy, but a fantastic shot. Again, thanks to a kind stranger!

Love the boys' faces in this one. Now I know where Eliot gets his devilish grin.

Cheesy boys. I love this photo.

Eliot and me. It's tricky to get him to smile (or look at the camera) these days.

"A kiss, Mama?" Me and my little smoocher.

The sweet woman whose husband took our family shots got Eliot to smile so sweetly for her (don't mind the grape skin in his teeth!). She reminded me a bit of my own mom and made me miss home ...

I dream of someday taking a dinner cruise on the "Willamette Queen" ...

And just because I was feeling artsy ...

"To Every Thing There Is a Season"

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose, a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. ... He hath made every thing beautiful in His time; also He hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end."

--Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, 11

I'm not a big fan of change. No, let me state that differently. I hate change. I hate being uprooted from what's comfortable and predictable. Which is kind of funny because you'd think I'd be used to it by now. I, of my own choosing, went away to college. I, of my own choosing, served a mission halfway across the world. Grant and I, of our own choosing (mostly), have moved four times in our seven years of marriage and will probably move another few times before we reach year 10. You'd think I'd be able to roll with the punches by now. But I am not.

So it shouldn't come as any surprise that my recent change in callings at church hit me hard. Like I have done with so many other changes in my life, I have dragged my feet on this one. I did not readily accept this change when it happened. It came a little sooner than expected, which caught me off guard, and I have felt more upset about it than even I, the change-hater, expected I would. I'm a big girl and have served in enough callings by now to know how it works -- you serve for a period of time, and you get released and someone else takes over. Which is perfectly fine. It's how it's always worked, it's how it's meant to work, it's a blessing to everyone involved that we don't stay stagnant in callings forever. But, for a change-hater, it rocked my world too much for my liking. I knew and loved the sisters I served with. My responsibilities conveniently "worked" with my schedule as a mom and law student's wife. I've been in a Relief Society presidency for almost five years now, so I knew my responsibilities. I was comfortable. That's the dangerous part. I was too comfortable.

Which the Lord knew perfectly well. So, He knew it was time for a change. And it doesn't matter how much I dragged my heels or resisted or fought this change; it's here, and it's time to move forward. And I'm sure Heavenly Father, knowing that I'm stubborn and resistant, knew that I'd fight it. So He lovingly provided me with needed reminders and counsel through the words of His prophets and the wonders of His creation.

The first loving answer I received regarding all this change came from a talk given by President Henry B. Eyring at the general Relief Society Broadcast. Because I was feeling a little low about the change in calling, which had happened only a week prior to the broadcast, I skipped out on the luncheon and missed my last opportunity to attend that special event with friends. I even missed getting to sit with my dearest friends at the broadcast because I purposefully came just in time for the meeting and slipped in the back. Ornery little one, aren't I. Even with all my stubbornness, the words of that great and gentle leader of the Church pierced my closed-off heart and began a series of inspirations that have brought me to my answer about this change in my life. President Eyring, in talking to the sisters of the Church about their legacy, told about the early leaders in the Church, those who served in the first season of service after the Restoration of the gospel. Here's some of what President Eyring said:

"It is clear from the record they left that those women of the first period of Relief Society felt the joy the Lord promised [them]. He was in the work with them. He prospered it, and they felt joy and light.

"But the Prophet Joseph foresaw that another season would follow. He saw the grand works they would build in the first season. But he also said that they were to serve, bless, and care for those close to them, known personally by them.

"After a joyful time of service for the Relief Society, the Lord led them into another season, away from the fields they had planted so magnificently. It was hard for the faithful men who inherited, for instance, the hospital system they had expanded on the foundation the Relief Society had built. The Lord, through His prophets, made clear that His priesthood servants could hand the trust of maintaining and building that powerful instrument for good to others. And so the Church gave away its marvelous hospital system.

"I know and admire the men who had felt the joy of service in that hospital system. And I saw their recognition that the joy had come from being at work with the Lord, not from their own accomplishments. So they smiled and gave away gladly what they had built. They had faith that the Lord saw a greater need for their service elsewhere, in other fields in another season."

And there was my answer. The Lord was leading me into a new season, into a new field of labor. It was my turn to "smile and [give] away gladly what [I] had built." The Lord, as He did for His early saints, "saw a greater need for [my] service elsewhere, in other fields in another season."

As I contemplated this answer, I realized that I was released from my calling on September 27, days after the literal change of seasons -- a physical symbol of this time of change in my life. Each day as I'm out on walks or running errands and see literally strewn about me the evidence that all of God's creations are subject to change, I am gently reminded that I can't resist what God intends for me. He knows why I am needed to teach His young women in this ward at this period of time. He knows what I can share with them that will touch them, and maybe more importantly, He knows what they can share with me.

I'm off to get ready for church, to teach my lesson to and learn from the amazing Laurels I get to serve. I'm off to find out what the Lord now needs me to know, to feel and to experience. I'm off to a new field and a new season of service.

"I Come to the Beach to Breathe ..."

... That saying was written all over cards and notebooks in one of the shops we looked at in Seaside, and I think it perfectly describes why I love the beach so much ... I feel like I can breathe! There's something about having the ocean in view that automatically calms me. I feel peaceful there, relaxed. Here are some pictures (in no particular order) of our recent trip to the coast. Enjoy a little moment to breathe ... I won't say anything about the photos except the one of the seagull swooping right into the shot of me and Eliot on the pier. It was a total coincidence, but Grant was a pretty lucky shot!

Love These Ladies

Last night I enjoyed a fantastic night out with the ladies, courtesy of Ruth, the Relief Society President I served under, who was generous enough to take all of the women who served in her presidency out to dinner. We enjoyed an amazing meal (I had a Cordon Bleu sandwich that makes me drool just thinking about it!), out-of-this-world dessert (tuxedo chocolate torte, anyone?), and entertainment that made me hurt from laughing so hard. Ruth and Martha had cooked up a surprise performance for us, which they presented in the parking lot just outside the restaurant. It was beyond hysterical, and I'm sure our waitresses and any patrons who could see us through the window were totally baffled at the fact that we had not had a sip of alcohol but were totally punchy regardless. Needless to say, I will MISS seeing these women on a regular basis. Not only did they provide regular and much-needed comic relief, but they were among my greatest support system here in Salem and became true and cherished friends. How grateful I am for the opportunity to have served with them and to have met such incredible, talented women. I treasure our friendships.

My new calling is the Laurel Advisor in Young Women, which is a completely new realm for me. I'm nervous about this calling but excited for the fun and growth that it will bring. Because of the amazing experience I had while serving in Relief Society, I am confident that the Lord will bless me with additional growth opportunities and cherished new friendships as I move on to a new season of service. Here's to wonderful women.

Today I'm Breaking My Sugar Fast ...

... to have a Kit Kat in honor of a beautiful woman in our ward who passed away a little over a week ago. She was just a little older than my own mother and was taken too quickly by cancer. I didn't know sweet Kathy well at all. She was so private, but I always admired her. She was humble, lovely, and quietly faithful in her church service. I knew her and her husband best as one of the poor couples who often sat by us in the very back of the chapel. She and her sweet husband tolerated us and our Eliot escapades. She always smiled warmly and never seemed too annoyed by us. Apparently, Kathy's nick-name was "Kit Kat," which was her favorite candy bar, and a woman in our ward suggested that we all buy, hand out, and enjoy Kit Kats today, which would have been sweet Kathy's 60th birthday, in honor of that sweet, unassuming lady. Have a Kit Kat today to honor the lovely women in your life. I will.

Congratulations ...

... to my brother-in-law, Louie, who just completed the "Lotoja" (Logan to Jackson Hole) race this past weekend! That's a lot of miles to log, but probably as pretty as it gets!

And congrats to Mary and Madelyn, who were no doubt the cutest support crew there!

"I Will Not Take These Things For Granted"

My recent vow/mantra of not wishing away our final year of law school (see "My New Mantra" post) was reinforced profoundly this week when Grant called me Monday morning with some sad news. An attorney in Utah who had been a friend and mentor to Grant was killed in a car accident over the weekend while traveling to Southern Utah for a family vacation. I knew the man only from things Grant had told me about him -- that Grant had really admired him, that he was a Willamette Law School graduate, that he was a man of integrity, a wise and effective attorney, and that he was among the attorneys who was kindly showing Grant the ropes. As I have for many of Grant's professional associates whom I've never officially met, but hear about as Grant tells me about his budding career, I developed a gratitude for Nyal Bodily and other men and women like him, who, with perhaps no personal gain, aren't too busy, too important, or too talented to take the time to help "the new guy." From the sounds of it, this was a good man, who, perhaps illogically to us in the here and now, was taken too soon, or, in the words of his beautifully written obituary, "before [his family's] hearts were ready." And as such situations sometimes do, this one hit too close to home.

Like I said, I didn't know Grant's friend, but it was far too easy to put ourselves in the position of his family. Nyal was raised in Orem, attended Grant's same high school, and married the "love of his life." They had gone to law school at Willamette, got their career off to a good start in Provo, and, if their financial situation was anything like ours will be, probably paid off their whopping debt not too long ago. They had a young family, and in many ways, I imagine they were just beginning their family's promising life together. He was good at what he did; he was good to his family. The comparisons to my own life were a little haunting; like I told Grant, "that's us in ten years." So when Grant called me with the news, it was very easy to feel the gravity of the situation and to feel a profound loss for a family I had never met. In our prayers that night, I choked up as I prayed for that family, that they would be comforted, that they would have courage to face the days ahead.

When Grant called me to tell me what had happened, he sheepishly apologized after he'd recounted the events, and said, "Sorry I called just to tell you that." But I'm glad he did. Although I did not have much to say, I was thankful that Grant thought first to call me for whatever comfort I could give. Because this was one of those "wake-up call" moments that make you want to cling to those you love -- to just hear their voice, to know they're still there. To be comforted that for now all is well, that you are safe, that you are healthy. I remember feeling similarly across the ocean in Spain when I learned of the events of 9/11. I remember one of my sisters telling me that the only thing she could think to do that day was to huddle her little family together and hold and hug her husband and children. Sometimes I think we need to witness tragedies, even if from afar, to recognize how safe, healthy, and good our lives are, at least for today.

All the more reason for me not to wish away my life, even the hard stuff. Because you never know when it could all change or be taken from you. So for today I'm happy that my husband is still here, that together we're working on finishing up school so Grant can have a career that will support our family. I'm happy that we're all healthy, that no disease or illness is pressing upon us as it does for so many. I'm happy that I have a little boy who is physically well and developing right on track. I'm happy that I have the gospel, that my life has meaning, purpose, and direction. I'm happy to have a place to live and food to eat. I'm happy to have two sets of parents and siblings who love and suport me, who would do anything for me if I just asked. At a time in my life when it would be easy to focus on how little we have, there are moments, even if they come as the result of hearing tragic news, when I realize just how much I do have. So today, and hopefully always, I will not take these things for granted.

"The Bridge That God Built"

We stumbled upon this beautiful piece of Americana today on our way back from the coast. This is the Drift Creek Bridge, which is not only beautiful to look at, but has a miraculous little story behind it. When you visit the bridge, you're asked to only walk across it, and inside you'll find a guest book you can sign and a one-page printout of the story behind the bridge. It is a faith-filled, heartwarming story that gave us goosebumps when we read it. I was tempted to type up the whole thing (and I'd be willing to do so and e-mail it to anyone interested), but the basic gist is that this bridge was to be torn down back in 1997, but a couple, the parents of five young children at the time, both received a prompting in the middle of the night to "check the measurements" of the concrete bridge they had just built on the property where they would soon build a home. When they were both awakened by the same prompting, they racked their brains trying to figure out what it meant. When they put the pieces together that their bridge might be the answer to saving the historic Drift Creek Bridge, they acted immediately and requested a hearing to stop the Drift Creek bridge demolition, which was already in its beginning stages. At the hearing, the couple suggested that, at their own cost and expecting nothing in return, they would relocate the bridge to their property so that the public could continue to enjoy the rich piece of history. At that point the wife, who authored the story, said that miracle after miracle occurred so they could secure the remains of the bridge and then restore it. But they had enormous hardships along the way, and at one point wanted to give up altogether. But again, miracles took place to keep them going, including having a local lumber company contact them in person about needing to log the area around their home -- which provided the couple with the specified wood they would need to rebuild the framework of the bridge. Another miracle included receiving a 1999 calendar in the mail in October of that year (a little late in the year to be receiving a "new" calendar) from a life insurance provider through whom the couple didn' t even have insurance. The woman broke down into tears when the picture for October -- the month she received the calendar -- was the Drift Creek Bridge, the one that at that time was strewn about in pieces in her yard. Such divine interventions inspired the couple to press forward and make their dream a reality, despite the toll it was taking on them, their marriage, and their family. When all the pieces came together -- literally -- the bridge you see in the pictures above, was the result. And according to the woman who wrote the story, every time she sees it (they live in a beautiful home just on the other side of the bridge), she sees "the bridge that God built."

Today was one of those days I'm so happy we took the turnoff we've always meant to take and found this golden piece of history and a story that I will forever love.

Round 3, Take 5

Yep, a new school year means a new photo in front of the law school. Our "happy thought" these days is that we only have ONE more of these to take!! Can you see Grant in a cap and gown ... almost?!

My Other Goal ...

Is to work on positive reinforcement with Eliot. I had a "guilty mommy" moment tonight when my extra-tired Eliot (he's been sick, poor thing) wanted to go to bed so badly that he kept pointing to his bed and asking for ... "time out" (we put him in his crib for time out). Sad. :(

Okay other moms, ideas for positive reinforcement with your little ones? I'll prep you right off the bat -- I'm not one for bribes/rewarding with treats. Just looking for ways to focus on the positive and praise my son for the good things instead of saying "no" so much or resorting to "time out" too often (which I didn't think I did, but after tonight, I'm reevaluating...).

My New Mantra

When I went away to school at Ricks College (now BYU-Idaho ... guess that dates me, huh), my older sister, Melissa, who had also gone to school at Ricks, gave me this piece of advice: "Don't wish it away, sis. It goes too fast." I never forgot that advice, and, just as my sister had almost predicted I would, I did find myself wishing my college experience away at times. When I encountered midterms or finals, when I was getting my heart broken by the first "RM" I dated, I started to wish it away. But Melissa's advice would come back to my mind, and I'd try to refocus on the good stuff -- the roommates I loved, the FHE brothers who became great friends, the niche I carved out for myself as a "Scrollie" at the college newspaper. That was a great time of my life, but also as Melissa said it would, it went way too fast.

Just like my mission went too fast. Just like my newlywed days and years working at the MTC went too fast. Just like Eliot's short time as a newborn went too fast. And as much as I tried hard not to do it, at some point or another, I found myself wishing away each of those great times of my life.

Probably because those great times were also hard times. Although in hindsight I wonder how life as a carefree college student was ever "hard," but it was, at the time. When looked at compared to life in law school while starting our family, those early college years may seem like a piece of cake, but at the time, that phase had its own difficult moments. Finals were stressful because my I needed good grades to hang on to my scholarship and hopefully earn a scholarship to BYU so I could finish my Bachelor's Degree. And I'm sure even that "RM" breaking my heart was life-shattering at the time. Which is why I probably wished it was "all over with" so I could move on to the next, "easier" phase.

What I'm learning is that the next phase never gets easier. It's likely equally as hard (or harder!), just in a new and different way. So the trick, just like my sister taught me, is to not wish away the phase you're in. To live in the moment gratefully. To know that you're right where you need to be, when you need to be there. To know that, as a good friend recently taught me, God doesn't give consolation prizes, so there are no "plan B" lives. The life I'm living is exactly what God intended for me -- my "plan A" -- so I can be confident and assured that I'm doing what I need to be doing and gaining the experiences that will prepare me for what's next.

If my rambling is leading me to any point, it's this: though it's going to be hard, my goal for this next new year is to not wish it away. It's going to be hard to do. This is Grant's LAST year. His LAST year of law school! We're so close to done we can almost taste it. We can almost envision the career that's on the horizon, see ourselves moving on from student lifestyle (halelujiah), just moving on period. But, we're not there yet. There's still that one year (plus the Bar ... bleh). And within that year is just what I've been talking about. Being right where we're supposed to be when we're supposed to be here. Gaining the experiences that will prepare us for what's next. So, as much as I'd like it "over with," I'm going to try as hard as ever to not wish away this last year. To live in the moment. To focus on the good stuff. Because I'm guessing, as tired as we are of student living and all that comes with it, one of these days I'm going to be looking back on these years, just like I do with my college years, my mission, our newlywed phase, and when Eliot was a newborn, and realize it went way too fast.

And I'll wish it hadn't. So here's to the good stuff that's happening right here, right now. And what is the good stuff? Living in a gorgeous place where I'm an hour drive away from the ocean, and a half an hour drive away from hiking areas with giant, beautiful evergreens and waterfalls. Living in an easygoing town where we have great parks, a wonderful children's museum, fun restaurants, a beautiful campus, not to mention being an hour away from Portland where there are gardens galore, the biggest bookstore I've ever seen, a beautiful riverfront and again, lots of places to explore and discover. Having a great ward and wonderful friends who have become a vital support system to me while I've been away from home and family. Getting to rely wholly on each other as a family and cling to each other's love and support while we're finishing up this intense period of our lives together, and enjoying the increased love and appreciation for each other that has come as a result of pulling together. Having one-on-one time with my Eliot and getting to enjoy him and all that he's learning and experiencing. The simplicity of a minimized budget, schedule, lifestyle.

That's the good stuff I'm not going to wish away this year.

I Think ...

My niece Madelyn might be the most beautiful and most personality-filled baby girl I've ever seen!

... And I also think by the time I have my next little one I need to get my hands on a sweet camera like Maddy's parents have so I can capture great shots like these.

It's Time ...

... to make this blog private, too. I've been debating for a while, and finally decided it's time. If you'd like to keep reading, let me know by leaving a comment. If I don't already have your e-mail address, please be sure to include it.