2010: The Best Is Yet to Be

Okay, here goes my plug.

Many of you know that I worked for Church magazines for a couple of years after I graduated. I worked for the Liahona, the Church's international magazine, but I was part of the editorial board for all four of the Church magazines. My experience there wasn't quite what I expected it to be, for more reasons that I can or want to get into in this post, but I'll just say that I always dreamed of working there. I dreamed of working there as an editor and not an administrative assistant, but nonetheless, my dream was partially reached, right? But having worked there and having had a "behind-the-scenes" look at how those miraculous magazines come together, I am more than excited to plug the new format of the magazines, which you'll notice in the January 2010 issues. I got my Ensign the other day and LOVED what I saw. Lots of the changes and innovations that I heard talked of when I was there are now in place, and it looks fantastic. Be sure to check it out and read the guide to how to use the new format in the front of the magazine. Some great changes.

Speaking of great changes, a new year is upon us. I am really excited for 2010. I've been waiting for 2010 for many years now. This year has a lot in store for me and my family. This is Grant's graduation year, the year we will brave "the Bar" (dun, dun, dun), the year we will say goodbye to our Oregon era and try to find our places again in Utah, the year Grant will hopefully become an attorney for real and we'll leave our student years behind. And hopefully not too far beyond 2010, becoming "real adults" and buying our first home and adding on to our family ... no wonder I have so much anticipation for the coming year or two!

With all of that in mind, I was very moved and inspired by Elder Holland's message, "The Best Is Yet to Be," in the January issue of the Liahona and Ensign. His message gave me new insights, it gave me courage, it reminded me that faith points to the future and doesn't wallow in the past. It taught me to let people (including myself) repent, grow up, and become better. It reminded me of the counsel given to Lot's wife to "look not behind thee," or as Elder Holland puts it, to not allow my "attachment to the past [outweigh my] confidence in the future." Some great counsel as I face a new year that will be a big one for me and my family.

I feel ready to move forward. I feel ready to not look back, to dive in head first, to allow good things to happen in my life and in the lives of those I love. I feel ready to become a better person and kick some bad habits. I feel ready to watch my husband soar in the new wings of his career. I'm excited to watch my son thrive in the nurturing care of extended family. I'm excited to set ambitious goals for myself and move beyond limits I've set for myself. I'm excited for what our future holds.

Which is a big deal for me. I've had some setbacks in my personal life over the last few years that have hindered my ability to hope. I haven't always allowed myself to believe that good things could happen because I've become terrified of the bad things that can and do happen to people, innocent and good as they may be. I've witnessed suffering in my own family and have wondered if life will ever be normal and happy instead of dysfunctional and scary again. But I feel that finally I'm bursting from my cocoon of fear and realizing that my life is not dependent on my circumstances to be ideal in order for me to experience happiness or to see "hope shining brightly before" me and my family. I really believe that there is light at the end of the dark tunnel I've been traveling in, and I'm ready to embrace that light watch good things unfold for me, for Grant, for Eliot, for all of us.

I have to credit the source of my hope, for fear that you might think it's something I've come by of my own efforts. I know where that peace and happiness is coming from. It's coming from the only true source of light in this "dark and dreary" world. The source of my hope is the only true Source of hope there is -- the Savior Jesus Christ. The Lord truly is my Light. I can't say that I have the strongest relationship with Him lately, but I've been working on some goals in my life to make more room for Him, and slowly, quietly, I am feeling more and more of His influence in my life, and consequently, more and more hope.

Again from Elder Holland, "Some of you may wonder: Is there any future for me? What does a new year or a new semester, a new major or a new romance, a new job or a new home hold for me? Will I be safe? Will life be sound? Can I trust in the Lord and in the future? Or would it be better to look back, to go back, to stay in the past? To all such of every generation, I call out, 'Remember Lot’s wife.' Faith is for the future. Faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there. Faith trusts that God has great things in store for each of us and that Christ truly is the 'high priest of good things to come' (Hebrews 9:11). Keep your eyes on your dreams, however distant and far away. Live to see the miracles of repentance and forgiveness, of trust and divine love that will transform your life today, tomorrow, and forever. That is a New Year’s resolution I ask you to keep."

May your 2010 be filled with light, dreams, and hope.

Honored

I want to tell you what's happened in the days since my most recent post. I posted a link to the YouTube "Mormon Message" that features the beautiful song "Do You Have Room For the Savior?" written by Shawna Edwards. At the end of the video, Shawna provides her e-mail address for anyone who would like an MP3 copy of the song. The more I've watched that video, the more I've come to appreciate that song. Lyrically, poetically, musically, it is a masterpiece. So I e-mailed Shawna for a copy, and was surprised by her quick, personal reply, in which she told me that she's not charging for copies of the MP3, but that, in her words, it does come "with a price." She's collecting stories from everyone who requests a copy of the song. Specifically she wants to know how the song has inspired people to make room for the Savior in their lives. So I sent her a copy of what I'd written on my blog, and then, a few hours later, sent her a "P.S." e-mail of what I wish I would've told her. I sent a quick paragraph about what a specific portion of the video had meant to me as a young mom. Again, I was surprised by her quick and personal response, this time a request to include a portion of my "story" on her blog. For someone as gifted with words as this woman is, I was so touched that she'd want to post my story -- my simple blurb about how her video helped me stop feel down in the dumps about the mundane tasks of motherhood. Here's what she included on her blog:

From Monica, in Salem, Oregon:

There's one split-second clip in the video, right near the end, that shows a mother praying with her children. I can't tell you how much that little part meant to me when I saw it. I had just been watching scenes of other great service that people render for those in need, and I felt a bit ashamed that I'm not currently doing any of those things. With a husband in law school and an active little two-year-old son, I'm happy to keep afloat most days, let alone find time for organized acts of service.
But when I saw that clip of that sweet mother praying with her children, I thought, "but I am doing that." I felt such a powerful witness of how mothering provides some of the greatest opportunities for making room for the Savior. I don't always feel like I'm making a huge difference in the world right now -- my world is diaper changes, macaroni and cheese, sippy cups and naptimes. But that little portion of the video reminded me that I can make room for the Savior in my home and in my child's heart through the little things -- the hugs, the prayers, the scripture stories, the Primary songs sung as lullabies.
Tonight as I rocked my little one before bed and sang "I'm Trying to Be Like Jesus," I heard your song in the back of my mind and felt that tonight, in a humble little apartment, there was room for the Savior.

All I could tell Shawna in response to her request to put that on her blog was that I felt "honored." And I do. In my few communications with that amazing woman, I have such an admiration for her. She's a heart-and-soul stay-at-home mom who has put her incredible musical talents on the back burner for the past 30 years while she's raised her beautiful family. Now that her youngest is off in his mission, she feels that her window is now open to put her gifts to use in a way that won't "shortchange her kids." She seems so down to earth and lovable. She was born and raised in Orem, and from what I can tell, has raised her own family there. I'd love the chance to meet her someday. Her responses to me about my simple little testimony of motherhood helped validate the feelings in my heart that there is truly no more important role in this life or eternity for any woman than to care for our Heavenly Father's little ones. It's so nice to know that other women, amazingly talented ones at that, feel the same way. I am in awe of women like Shawna, whose gifts are such that she could have easily had a phenomenal career in the field of her choice, and yet, her choice was to raise a beautiful family, and to let her talents bless them. I love that!

Within the same time frame that I was communicating with Shawna, I was on Facebook one day and saw the photos off to the side with my group of friends. It so happened that the few pictures showing at that time were almost all friends of mine who are in the same phase of life as me -- raising little ones while supporting husbands in school or at the beginning of their careers. I smiled as I saw women I admire, women of faith who are gentle and sweet and loving. All talented, bright women, many with degrees in fields in which they are very good at. And yet, like Shawna, have put things aside for a season so they can give motherhood their undivided attention. Love or hate Facebook, I think one of the things I've loved most is the unity I feel among women I've come to know over the years who are doing and loving the same thing I'm doing, in many different cities all over the country (and the world, in some instances!). I feel a strong link with all of those women as I see and hear about the things they're doing as they participate in motherhood, and in turn, make room for the Savior in their lives and in the lives of their precious children. To be a part of that, to be a mother, to feel of its profound importance when the world would dismiss parenthood as old-fashioned and a waste of talent, makes me feel so blessed, so privileged, so, well, honored.

Making Room for the Savior

The more I watch this video, the more I am touched. The more I want to find quiet time with my scriptures. The more I want to find some way to serve others this Christmas season. The more I want to be more humble and gentle and loving. The more I want to emphasize baby Jesus and the Nativity story more than Santa and lights and candy with Eliot. The more I want to open my heart to the forgiveness and healing I need. The more I want to become like the Savior I know and worship and love.

I want each of you, as people who love me and care enough to read about my life, to know that I do believe in Jesus Christ. He is the Light of the World; the light of my world. In moments too personal and sacred to share, I have come to know Him; and I know that He knows me. I know that He suffered for my sins and yours and that He lives. I know that because He lives and overcame death, my loved ones who have passed on -- Nana, Papa, Grandpa, Aunt Marilyn, Grandma Moore, and many others I barely had the chance to know in this life -- now live and I will get to be reunited with them one day if I live worthy of that blessing. I know that I can read about and come to love my Savior through the teachings in the Bible and Book of Mormon, and through the words of modern prophets, including President Thomas S. Monson, who stands as a living witness of Christ on the earth right now. I know my life doesn't always perfectly reflect my belief in and love for Jesus Christ. I know that I have so far to go in becoming like Him, but I want to love as He loves, to live as He lived. Because of the precious sacrifice of His life and the suffering He bore, I know that I can overcome my shortcomings and mistakes and become more like Him as I try to improve each day.

This Christmas I'm going to try to make more room for the Savior in my life.

LOL

I must have a weak spot for any silly video featuring babies, because Grant came home SO excited to show this to me and told me he KNEW that I would love this. Well, I did love it. So much I laughed out loud -- hard -- almost until I cried. Hope it makes you laugh, too! Or maybe things are a little funnier during finals time?! All I know is Eliot and I have some skills to work on while Grant's away studying.