{m stands for}: September 2011

Zachary's Photo Book

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I Am Looking Forward to ...

... Conference weekend. My heart, soul, and mind need to be filled with more uplifting things like this:

So here's to eating cinnamon rolls and drinking chocolate milk, driving the Alpine Loop, playing Conference Bingo with candy corns, and feeling the lift my spirit has been longing for. Have a wonderful weekend.

First Bath

My mom has the very sweet tradition of giving all of her grandbabies their first bath at home. So the day Zachary came home, my mom came and gave him his first little sponge bath. It's always a learning process for me -- to be reminded how to handle those little ones all over again, and to stand in awe of my mother's amazing gift with children. I think I learned to love and reverence infants from her.

Getting everything ready while Mr. Z howls in the background.

The first wipes are always a little shocking!

A big yawn -- he almost looks relaxed!

Once the hair got wet, it was all over! Such a sad face!

I Can't Believe ...

It has been three months since Zach was born. Finding these pictures on Grant's phone the other day made it feel even more surreal. It has been a whirlwind three months -- almost unfair how newborns grow so fast while their mommies are so sleep deprived. I have felt like I've been living in such a blur, and all the sudden I don't have a tiny, sleepy newborn anymore. Don't get me wrong -- we are sure loving our chubby, giggly 3-month-old, but that heavenly, cuddly newborn phase just goes way too fast.

Meeting Mama.

My first thoughts of Zach -- how much he looks like a Dickinson and yet so much like his brother at the same time. He seemed so teeny tiny -- funny how you forget how small they are!

Not long after Zach's (quick!) arrival.

Mom, Dad, and Baby.

"Ampy" McEuen (my dad) came bright and early -- like 6:00 a.m.! -- so he could meet his namesake (Zach's middle name is "Bryce," after my dad) before heading to work.

First bath. "Get me outta here!!"

Thanks, Dr. Young! I don't love this picture of me -- I think I look gross -- but it makes me happy because my doctor was SO excited to hold Zach. Glad to know he loves babies!

Eliot meeting his little bro for the first time. A very tender moment. The snuggle puppy was Eliot's gift to his brother.

Helping Mommy count fingers and toes.

I'm THAT mom ...

Recently, I've come to the horrifying realization that I have become ... THAT mom. Uh huh, you know the one. The one who takes what seems like a half an hour to load her kids in or out of her car while people are waiting to get in or out of their car and/or parking spot. The one whose baby starts screaming (and I mean SCREAMING) while waiting in one of the several ridiculously long lines at Costco, only to realize that the life-saving binkie has been left in the car or (worse!) at home, so she has to rescue the screaming child from his car seat, and somehow figure out how to maneuver her giant cart one-handed, all while trying to occupy the impatient preschooler riding up front, then (not done yet!) unload her equally giant Costco-size groceries (yes, still one-handed) without nudging the babe from the only single position that seems to comfort him at the moment. I'm the one whose 4-year-old humiliates her in the store (could be Costco, Winco, Target ... take your pick), accusing her of eating up all the Fruit Loops in his loudest possible voice and demanding she buy another box, after which I try to explain that no, we're not buying another box of Fruit Loops because they're junk, even though he and I know perfectly well that I did in fact eat up the entire box. I'm the mom who's grateful her child is a preschooler and not a teenager, because otherwise he'd be humiliated by my just-rolled-out-of-bed appearance when I drop him off -- no makeup, frizzy pony, workout pants that I've had to stuff my postpartum self into ... all things I swore in a former life (read "all-knowing" young single adult) I would NEVER do. I'm the one chasing my child around the library, with a baby strapped to my chest, "whispering" threats to get off the computer, to please STOP taking books off the shelf and shoving them back wherever he chooses, and PLEASE, for heaven's sake, stop climbing on the Harry Potter castle! I beg my child to be quiet at the pharmacy, to please, for once in his life be reverent in Sacrament meeting, plead with him to not say the bad words he learned from me at preschool, and worry myself sick that he's still soaking his nighttime Pull-ups at well over 4 years old. I bribe with dessert, candy, die cast cars, whatever it takes ... again, all the things I added at one point to my "I will never... /My child will never ..." lists.

Yes (SIGH), I am that mom. But, gratefully, I'm not alone. My sister just e-mailed me the following post from a friend of hers, and I was very, VERY comforted to find that there are lots of other mommies out there who find themselves being "THAT" mom. Maybe being "that" mom means we're just real moms, doing, as she says below, "doing the gosh darn best that [we] can."

P.S. I will NEVER add another item to my "I will never .../My child will never ..." lists again!

From another "that" mom:

I never thought I would be

...that crazy mom who runs around town in work out clothes.

or the mom who sends her kids to school with sticky-up hair.

or the mom who holds up check-out lines in wal-mart all for the sake of one measly coupon.

or the mom who lets her kids sleep in her bedroom. every.single.night.

or the mom who snaps at her kids in the store.

or the mom who puts her kid in joyschool.

or the mom who leaves her baby in the car....and just happens to be parked in the spot farthest away from the door....and doesn't even realize she doesn't have her baby until her hubby {inside the movie theater} mouths the words: "where's sam?"

or the mom who {maybe} says swear words.

or the mom who makes cereal for dinner.

no, i never thought i would be that mom.

but i am.

and it feels so good.

i'm not perfect.

i don't accomplish big projects on a daily basis.

or a weekly basis for that matter.

but i'm doing the gosh darn best that i can.

my kids wear hand-me-downs.

they pick their noses

bite their nails

wipe their face on their shirts

and say potty words.

{and it's so funny when they do}

they probably watch too much tv

play too many video games

and get away with more than i ever did

but that is how we do things

every.day.

and it feels so good.

we play.

we laugh.

we tease.

we "get fwustwated"

we tickle.

we giggle.

we throw.

we catch.

we jump.

we run.

I never thought life could be so good.

right now. today.

it feels so good.

It's That Time Again ...

Time to rev up the workout mix. PLEASE send me your suggestions for songs that get you moving! And yes, this is seriously the iPod I still use ... hoping for an upgrade one of these days, but glad this one's still hangin' in there in the meantime. And it doubles as strength training when it's strapped to my arm. :)

And yes, I KNOW I need to post pics of the babe ... SOON!

{Mantras}

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

-- Aristotle

What would you attempt to do if you knew you would not fail?

-- Robert H. Schuller

Real life isn't always going to be perfect or go our way, but the recurring acknowledgement of what is working in our lives can help us not only to survive but surmount our difficulties.

-- Sarah Ban Breathnach

One of the most important gifts we can give our children is the simple knowledge and security that their parents love each other.

-- Merrill C. Oaks

Though no one can go back in time and make a new beginning, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

-- Carl Bard

That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the task itself has become easier, but that our ability to perform it has improved.

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Happiness does not depend on what happens outside of you but on what happens inside of you; it is measured by the spirit with which you meet the problems of life.

-- Harold B. Lee

Of this you may be certain: The Lord especially loves righteous women -- women who are not only faithful but filled with faith, women who are optimistic and cheerful because they know who they are and where they are going, women who are striving to live and serve as women of God.

-- M. Russell Ballard

You are doing God's work. You are doing it wonderfully well. He is blessing you, and He will bless you, even -- no, especially -- when your days and nights may be most challenging. Like the woman who anonymously, meekly, perhaps even with hesitation and some embarrassment, fought her way through the crowd just to touch the hem of the Master's garment, so Christ will say to the women who worry and wonder and weep over their responsibility as mothers, "Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole." And it will make your children whole as well.

-- Jeffrey R. Holland

The ordinary acts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest.

-- Thomas Moore

There are seasons in life. Don't ever let anyone deny you the blessings and joy of one season because they believe you should be in -- or stay in -- another season.

--Jane Clayson Johnson

We can do no great things, only small things with great love.

--Mother Teresa

A mother relating to her child in the private intimacy of her home, with no audience but unseen angels, is the predominant influence for all that is good and decent in the world.

-- George D. Durrant

Faith in God means faith in His timing.

-- Neal A. Maxwell

We know about our Savior, but it is often in our adversities that we truly find Him and know Him and love Him. ... Some of our heaviest burdens, disappointments, and heartaches can in time be replaced with "the peace of God, which passeth all understanding" (Philippians 4:7) while we "wait upon the Lord" (Isaiah 40:31).

-- Ardeth G. Kapp

I have come to realize that not every unhappy experience in life need remain unhappy, but is, in all likelihood, the training ground for a better and happier day.

-- D. Arthur Haycock ("Papa")

If our lives and our faith are centered on Jesus Christ and his restored gospel, nothing can ever go permanently wrong. On the other hand, if our lives are not centered on the Savior and his teachings, no other success can ever be permanently right.

-- Howard W. Hunter

The doctrine of the Atonement is a doctrine of healing. The Savior heals us from the effects of sin, when we repent. He heals our weaknesses and mistakes. He heals broken promises, broken lives, broken hearts. When we demonstrate the faith to seek after Him, and try our best to follow Him, He will heal us.

-- Sheri Dew

Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it.
-- Tori Amos

I love being a mother. Aside from the love I have for my husband, I love mothering more than anything else in the world. ... I treasure every moment. ... Being an always present, always loving mother is the most demanding, fatiguing, and draining obligation that was ever placed upon my shoulders. Mothering, I believe, requires engaging every muscle, every nerve, every fiber of our being, and through it all we pray.
--Patricia T. Holland

The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity.
-- Margaret D. Nadauld

I have wept in the night
For the shortness of sight
That to somebody's need made me blind;But I never have yet
Felt a tinge of regret
For being a little too kind.
-- Author Unknown

It is a good and safe rule to sojourn in every place as if you meant to spend your life there, never omitting an opportunity of doing a kindness or speaking a true word or making a friend.
-- Author Unknown

The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. . . . I did not live in the moment enough. . . . I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.
--Anna Quindlen

When God makes a promise,
It remains forever true,
For everything God promises
He unalterably will do.
When you’re disillusioned
And every hope is blighted
Recall the promises of God
And your faith will be relighted.
-- Helen Steiner Rice

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
-- John Lennon

It isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don’t worry. I say that to myself every morning.
It will all work out. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. He will not forsake us. If we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers.
-- Gordon B. Hinckley

Life is fuller and richer and better for those who are not afraid to make a new beginning.
-- James E. Faust

The evidence of God's presence far outweighs the proof of His absence.
--Author unknown

Once there has been illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don’t give up when the pressure mounts. Certainly don’t give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. Face your doubts. Master your fears. 'Cast not away therefore your confidence.' Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you.
-- Jeffrey R. Holland

Jesus is my friend. None other has given me so much. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. He gave His life for me. I hope that I am deemed worthy of being a friend to Him.

He is my exemplar. His way of life, His absolutely selfless conduct, His outreach to those in need, His final sacrifice all stand as an example to me. I cannot measure up entirely, but I can try.
-- Gordon B. Hinckley

The Lord’s love is often delivered through others as they respond to the promptings of the Spirit. Are we hearing and following those promptings? I fear sometimes we see the Lord’s love only in the big events of our lives; we must also see His love in the smallest of things. Don’t underestimate your ability to share His love through a simple, genuine gesture.
-- Bonnie D. Parkin

I'm Currently Reading ...

My Simple Joys

Hugging Grant and having him rest his chin on my head
Eliot's slobbery kisses (which he now gives me voluntarily, and which he gives to the picture of Jesus on one of his books -- melts my heart!)
The smell of newborn babies
Sitting at the kitchen counter at my parents' house and talking with my mom
The McEuen girls' "sister hug"
Playing "Steal the Bacon" with my nieces and nephews
The smell of the pine trees in Flagstaff, Arizona, and hearing them sway and creak in the wind
How good it feels to stretch after a solid run
Remembering Grandpa's laugh
Climbing into a bed with fresh, clean sheets
The smell of home-baked bread
Watching "It's a Wonderful Life" at Christmas time with Grant
Eating a just-out-of-the-oven chocolate chip cookie
Taking Eliot to get his picture taken
Wave running and barbecues at my in-laws' during the summer
The look on Grant's face at Disneyland
Listening to Don Williams while floating down Lake Powell on the houseboat . . . miss those days!
Buying Christmas presents for Eliot
The sound of laughing with my mom and sisters
Any homemade dinner by my mom -- even if I use the exact same recipe, it never tastes as good as Mom's
Decorating for Christmas while listening to Christmas music
My mother-in-law's pie crust (and the pie that goes in it, obviously!)
Watching Eliot sleep
A freshly cleaned bathroom
Sunlight trickling through Oregon pine trees (it doesn't happen too often, but when it does, it's beautiful!)
My nephew Nate's power hugs
Seeing Eliot with his Nanny and Ampy and Grandma and Grandpa
Grant's huge, contagious smile
Fresh-squeezed orange juice and/or Hna. Dupont's fresh-squeezed guava juice
Getting a hand-written card or letter in the mail, especially from my mom (who has the most perfect handwriting I've ever seen!)
The smell of rain (and I'm in the perfect place for that, now aren't I?!)
Hearing Eliot laugh
The memory of holding Eliot for the first time -- one of the sweetest and most sacred moments of my life

Why This Blog

The title and concept of this blog came from an idea that grew and then seemed to gel when I found the quote from President Gordon B. Hinckley's book, "Standing for Something." Since a blog is a way of representing through words and visuals who someone is, and thereby what they stand for, I thought I'd let this blog be about what "M" stands for (Monica, Mom, Marriage, McEuen, Mormon, and many, many other things).

For so long I've hesitated to get this blog going, wondering if the whole premise was too "preachy" and wondering if that might turn people off. It was at the passing of President Gordon B. Hinckley, the prophet of the church I belong to (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) when I realized how much more I truly DO want to stand for something, just as he always did. I want to be associated with and stand for good things -- marriage, motherhood, family, love, honesty, creativity, joy, etc. -- and I'd love it all the more if I could stand for those things in the way that President Hinckley did: without apology, but humbly, sincerely, and always with a gentle sense of humor. So in honor of his life and in an effort to follow along that same path of goodness, here I go, attempting to stand for something in whatever small ways I can.

{m stands for}

Zachary's Photo Book

I Am Looking Forward to ...

First Bath

I Can't Believe ...

I'm THAT mom ...

It's That Time Again ...

{monica}

{mine}

{married}

{mother}

{mceuen}

{member}

{missionary}

{Mantras}

I'm Currently Reading ...

Monica's bookshelf: currently-reading

My To-Read List

Monica's bookshelf: to-read

Just Finished ...

Monica's books

My Simple Joys

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Why This Blog