"For the Joy of Human Love"

It was on my mission when I first heard the hauntingly beautiful melody of the Irish folk song, "Believe Me, If All Those Endearing Young Charms." My companion had been sent a video copy of President Gordon B. Hinckley's 90th Birthday Celebration, and Jennie Oaks Baker performed the song on her violin in remembrance of President Hinckley's mission to the British Isles and his love for the people and culture there. As a former violinist, I was enthralled by the beauty of the song, and remembered that performance for years after. I have since collected many of Jennie Oaks Baker's albums, including her greatest hits, which includes "Believe Me ...".  It wasn't until recently that I learned the lyrics and the touching story behind the song. Gerald N. Lund includes the lyrics, along with the widely accepted story behind the folk song, in one of his The Work and the Glory novels. The message of the lyrics rang so true and sweet to me, and knowing the words that match the beautiful melody adds depth to the song.

"Believe Me, If All Those Endearing Young Charms" 

by Thomas Moore

Believe me, if all those endearing young charms,

Which I gaze on so fondly today,

Were to change by tomorrow and fleet in my arms,

Like fairy gifts fading away,

Thou wouldst still be adored, as this moment thou art,

Let thy loveliness fade as it will;

And around the dear ruin each wish of my heart

Would entwine itself verdantly still.

It is not while beauty and youth are thine own,

And thy cheeks unprofaned by a tear,

That the fervor and faith of a soul can be known,

To which time will but make thee more dear.

No, the heart that has truly loved never forgets,

But as truly loves on to the close:

As the sunflower turns on her god when he sets

The same look which she turned when he rose.

Wikipedia summarized the story behind the song almost exactly how Elder Lund told it, so I'm going to trust it on this one: "It is said that after [Irish poet] Thomas Moore's wife contracted smallpox, she refused to let herself be seen by anyone, even her husband, due to the disfiguring effects of the disease to the skin on her body, and because she believed he could not love her after her face had been so badly scarred. Despairing at her confinement, Moore composed the lyrics of this song to reassure her that he would always love her regardless of her appearance. He wrote later that after hearing him sing to her from outside her bedroom door, she finally allowed him inside and fell into his arms, her confidence restored."

I think in each of us lies the longing for this kind of love -- love that is lasting and independent of beauty and all other external factors. I believe that kind of love is God-given, and that pure, eternal love is at the heart of God's power. It is the purpose behind our life on this earth and the motivating force to form and preserve families. A few years ago, I read a beautiful book by Bruce C. Hafen called "Covenant Hearts." Grant and I read it together in preparation for a family book club. We each had our own copies, and we would read and discuss as we read. My copy is marked with brackets and stars and notes in the margins. My favorite part of the book is the last chapter, which recounts journal entries of Elder Hafen's great-grandparents, John and Therissa Clark (a modified version of this chapter was printed as an article in the Liahona magazine during the time I was working there. I remember tearing up as I read over a mock-up layout that I was to deliver to Elder Hafen's office for approval. It is a beautiful, touching account if you have a moment to read it). In his journal, John writes of a day in which the two, by then in their final years of life, had been visited by friends and family and then left to themselves at the end of the day. He writes of his deep love for his wife and says writes as though speaking to her, "Where you are is home." His Therissa adds to his entry a few years later, just after his death, expressing her deep sorrow over his loss, and says, "I am only content at home were I feel that he is watching over me, his presence always with me."

I admit I have much to learn about marriage and the kind of love so eloquently described by the poet Thomas Moore. I know I have many more years of effort and sacrifice ahead of me before my love for Grant will be as deep and tested as the love shared between John and Therissa Clark. But there have been moments when I have had glimpses of a love that is so deep and profound there's barely room to hold it in my heart. Certainly as I knelt across an alter in the Salt Lake City temple on a crystal-clear November morning. Definitely as I held each of my newborn sons in my arms and marveled at the sacred privilege of being a parent, side by side with my loving, good husband. And maybe just as much so or even more so in the unseen moments of struggle and strife, in those private hours of receiving a priesthood blessing of comfort for heartaches known only to me, Grant, God, and the Savior. In the hours when Grant has held me close to try to bring peace to my troubled soul, or in the moments when he doubted his ability to get through the rigors of law school or keep up with the pressures of his job.  I think it is those moments that inspire lines like "It is not while beauty and youth are thine own,/ And thy cheeks unprofaned by a tear,/ That the fervor and faith of a soul can be known,/ To which time will but make thee more dear." It is those moments that prove true Elder Hafen's teaching that "the most sanctifying experiences of our spiritual lives should also be the most demanding experiences. ... Marriage and family life are among God's chief institutions for perfecting us, often through painful, incredibly demanding experience. No wonder we cannot be exalted without being married, because marriage is such a potent laboratory for helping us develop Christian character."

For the joy of human love,
Brother, sister, parent, child,
Friends on earth, and friends above, 
For all gentle thoughts and mild,
Lord of all, to thee we raise
This our hymn of grateful praise.
("For the Beauty of the Earth" Hymns, no. 92)