Trying to Be Where My Feet Are

I LOVE this new painting, "Be Where Your Feet Are," by Cassandra Barney. I have another of Cassie's paintings, "Four Spanish Sisters," that was thoughtfully given to me by my mother-in-law, who happens to live across the street from Cassie. "Four Spanish Sisters" took a while to grow on me -- the style of painting isn't something I would normally choose for myself -- but I love it because it reminds me of Spain and the features of the beautiful women and people there, and it also represents to me the feeling of sisterhood I experienced in Spain with the women I taught and those I served with as a missionary.

This new painting of Cassie's has really captured me because I love its message -- "Be Where Your Feet Are." Cassie explains the painting herself on this great and fun spot about her on Mormon.org. The message to me is simple, yet so profound. To be in the moment you're in and to not dwell on the past or anticipate the future too eagerly. Easier said than done, right?

About a year ago I tried to express a similar thought about not wishing away periods of my life. It's funny that I'm re-learning that lesson now a year later as we enter a "waiting game" period of our life. We'll be waiting for Grant's Bar results for about two months. Those results will determine whether we get to do the Bar again in February or if we get to just be done, really done, and move forward with Grant's career and our new, truly non-student life. Either outcome will be fine. Grant's not committing to whether or not he feels he passed. You just never know. It could swing either way. We're confident he did well. But doing well doesn't always dictate God's will. Sometimes there are other, priceless lessons that come with waiting a bit longer. Sometimes in not getting what we want when we want it, we grow our characters in ways we couldn't have otherwise. So while I'm planning "Bar" celebrations in the back of my mind, I'm also preparing to settle for a different version of our "Plan A" (because remember what else I learned last year, about there being no "Plan B" lives?). Time will tell.

In the meantime, I'm trying to be as Cassie and her beautiful painting suggest, "where my feet are." I'm a 31-year-old woman whose world centers around her loving husband and adorable son and our journey together to be an eternal family. Together, we're a young family blessed to have the gospel of Jesus Christ. We have hopes and dreams, and, at least for the time being, we're fortunate enough to have good health and stable employment, which are blessings in and of themselves. Next week we'll move into a cute town home, which, while it's not "ours" in terms of ownership, feels very much like home. I'm a runner about to challenge myself with my first 1/2 marathon, and that feels good. I'm a writer at heart, and I have this blog as one of my outlets. I'm a sister, daughter, and friend to wonderful people who enrich my life and buoy me up in weak moments. I am about to have more time and space to start scrap booking and working on projects again. I'm about to undertake the terrifying task of potty-training my 3-year-old. We want to welcome a new one to our home sometime in the near future (keep waiting for that announcement ...). I'm ready to move into our own place in a new ward and neighborhood where we can branch out and meet people and serve. I'm excited for what's on the horizon. I'm proud of Grant and all that he will experience in this next year of establishing his career. I love my son and love that, despite our mutual petty frustrations, he finds some small way to melt my heart or crack me up on a daily basis. I love that when he needs comfort or just to know that I'm still around, he comes or calls to me, his mother. I'm a pretty average if not most of the time boring person who has good days and bad, who likes to cook and read, spend time in the sun, eat ice cream while laughing at mindless TV with my husband after we put Eliot down at night. It's not a glamorous life, but it is unfolding in beautiful, simple ways, hiccups and all. I'm lucky enough to be home so I can teach and nurture my son, I'm supporting a kind and caring husband, and I'm finding my own challenges, projects, and interests to add meaning and depth to my life. That's where my feet are. They're in a good place. Not perfect, but good. Waiting's okay because where we are in the meantime is a good place.