My Moment of Joy

In a general conference meeting last April, Elder M. Russell Ballard gave a talk in which he specifically addressed the challenges of young mothers. I was so grateful for that talk and grateful that even the highest leaders of the Church are aware of the personal needs and concerns of struggling moms with young children. In his talk, Elder Ballard said this: "Recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction."

I had such a shining moment of joy and satisfaction the other night. For I don't know how long, I've had the habit of kissing my hand and then putting my hand to Eliot's cheek when I put him down to sleep in his crib. The other night I was surprised and deeply touched when, once I had done that, Eliot put his hand to his mouth and then reached up wanting to touch my face. I leaned down, and sure enough, he put his tiny little hand on my cheek. My eyes welled with tears as the realization of what had just happened sunk in. I was amazed at how much my little boy understands, how he is growing in his capacity to express his feelings. Most importantly, I felt so grateful for that sincere expression of love, because that week had been challenging, exhausting, and frustrating. But all of those feelings vanished with that little small moment of joy.

These moments are the ones that I live for. They are what get me through the long nights when Eliot's teething and the long days of "single parenting" while Grant's fighting his own battles at school. They are what get me through the moments of frustration when Eliot gleefully dips his hand in the toilet when we're already running late to get out the door, the moments of exhaustion when I get to wipe up milk splatters from the sippy cup he's dropped (on purpose, I'm pretty sure) for the umpteenth time. Those smiles, those giggles, those kisses on my cheek make it all worth it.