I made a huge first step this past week and made it back to the temple after over a year. Not only has having a newborn, nursing baby, along with a law student family schedule made it difficult to make it to the temple, I've also had some anxieties about going that resulted from some very painful and heartwrenching experiences. My feelings about the temple have not been the same this past year, which has been heartbreaking for me. I remember when I was first endowed, I would go all the time -- alone, with other friends preparing for missions, with anyone who would go with me. Because I had been endowed prior to my mission, Grant and I had the privilege of attending the temple together during our courtship and engagement, which was one of our favorite dates. That habit carried over into our marriage, and we have loved every opportunity we could go. When we would vacation, we would try to make a point of attending the temple if there was a temple nearby our destination or along the way. I felt like that safe haven was taken away from me over the past several months, and I wasn't sure what my experience would be like when I went back. Well, it was heaven. Simply stated, heaven. It was peaceful, perfect. I had prayed and prayed to have an experience to help me feel at ease and to feel reassured that my Heavenly Father knew my heart and my feelings, and that experience came in a sweet and simple way. It was so wonderful to go back. So wonderful to allow that part of my heart to be healed.
Healing My Heart
I made a huge first step this past week and made it back to the temple after over a year. Not only has having a newborn, nursing baby, along with a law student family schedule made it difficult to make it to the temple, I've also had some anxieties about going that resulted from some very painful and heartwrenching experiences. My feelings about the temple have not been the same this past year, which has been heartbreaking for me. I remember when I was first endowed, I would go all the time -- alone, with other friends preparing for missions, with anyone who would go with me. Because I had been endowed prior to my mission, Grant and I had the privilege of attending the temple together during our courtship and engagement, which was one of our favorite dates. That habit carried over into our marriage, and we have loved every opportunity we could go. When we would vacation, we would try to make a point of attending the temple if there was a temple nearby our destination or along the way. I felt like that safe haven was taken away from me over the past several months, and I wasn't sure what my experience would be like when I went back. Well, it was heaven. Simply stated, heaven. It was peaceful, perfect. I had prayed and prayed to have an experience to help me feel at ease and to feel reassured that my Heavenly Father knew my heart and my feelings, and that experience came in a sweet and simple way. It was so wonderful to go back. So wonderful to allow that part of my heart to be healed.
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7 comments:
What a blessing! I'm so glad that you were able to go. I am still praying for you. We're heading out to Oregon this week...too bad our paths won't cross there this time. Hopefully we can met up again soon! Love ya!
Monica- I'm glad you had that experience. I am glad that you were able to receive the peace and comfort you needed while you were there.
FYI- where we are moving is only a few miles from the Portland temple so anytime you need a break you can drop off Eliot and enjoy a session.
What a great example of the power of prayer. I am so glad that you were able to have the experience you desired.
Monica, I am so glad you were able to go. You are a brave mother! It was almost 3 years for me with doing a session. I had done a few inicitories(sp?) before I had Loralee, but I hadn't done a session. Then when our nephew went this past month for the first time it was also my first time back. Thankfully the girls were great and I knew they were in good hands and so I didn't worry as much, but it was a long day and I was SO grateful to have my arms around them again. So glad that you made it back. We will have to do some trading this next year so that we can both return more often to the temple. Sure miss you!!! (I haven't been to the gym in a while either...I am waiting for you to come back :) )!!!
Manta:
Great to know you are pushing throw the drifts of adversity and sorrow. Always remember - I am so proud to call you my daughter and I appreciate all the support and comfort you give to your madre y mi. Press on, little soldada. And give my little Tater boy another kiss. Dad
Good for you. I love that you share so many meaningful things on your blog.
monica! you amaze me! thank you for your honesty and ability to put into words your feelings. While I realize that I may not know your whole situation, I empathize with what you expressed! It makes me miss you and miss being around your 'old spirit'. what a joy it is to be able to go to what some people look at as just a place and be so powerfully renewed. sure miss you guys!
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