Sneak Peek ...

We're set to close on this beauty on May 31. Yes, you read that correctly.

We're buying a home!

It was love at first sight when I came across this home. It took a little more convincing for Grant, who was naturally concerned about the commute (the home is in Lehi, about a 30 minute drive -- on a good day -- to his work in Provo), but when we walked through it for the second time to see if it was the right fit for us, we both felt so peaceful and excited about it. The best word to describe this house is lovely. It is 100% my style. I love the rock work on the exterior, the landscaping is gorgeous, the paint colors and decor are exactly what I would choose, there are even peach and apple trees and a row of raspberry bushes out back, and, very important to me, a beautiful view of Mount Timpanogos ... perfect, perfect, perfect! There's a huge, fenced-in yard and covered sandbox for the boys, a beautifully updated kitchen and a craft/exercise room for me, a fantastic master with walk-in closet and jetted tub in the bathroom, which, I was surprised to learn, was a big plus for Grant, who has always dreamed of an amazing master bedroom suite, and for the first time in our married life, a full, two-car garage!

June is a big month for our family, so we'll move in slowly, but hope to be settled by July. Please come see us when we're in! We'd love to grill for you and roast marshmallows over the fire pit I promised to get Grant when we bought our first home. If you get a hankering to see a great rodeo or visit the roller mills where Kevin Bacon danced his heart out in Footloose, we'll be happy to take you, since it's all in our backyard! Yee-haw! But seriously, we are very pleased with this major step forward in our life and can't wait to finally plant some roots and live in a home we won't have to move from for several years. Miracles do happen!

Project: "Snapshot of a Mother"

I am undertaking a little project. I am going to start documenting my day-to-day life as a mother. I'm going to capture the fun, the creative, the routine, the ordinary, the dirty, the difficult. I'm going to snap pictures of breakfast, nap time routines, piles of laundry, trips to the market and library, blowing bubbles, finding bugs ... why? Because someday, though I may not believe it most days of the week, I'm going to miss this. Yes, I'll be grateful for the pictures of Christmas mornings, birthdays, and other big moments, when everyone's dressed just right and I've outdone myself as a "supermom," and all is right and happy with the world. But what about the everyday moments? The ones we live over and over again? The ones that are my life and my existence and my identity? I think that I'll remember them forever because they're so much a part of who I am and what I do long day in and long day out. But I'm coming to realize this is all so fleeting. My baby, whom I swear I delivered yesterday (didn't I?!), is quickly sneaking up on his one year mark. My first is practically headed off to Kindergarten. So before I blink again and it's gone, I want to capture those moments. The everyday, the sometimes "will they ever end?!" moments. Because for good for bad, yes, they will end. And I want pictures and journal entries to document it. Though it seems so mundane and long and tiring now, it is precious, and it is temporary, and I want to hold on it to is some way, somehow.

Driving this little project are thoughts like these, from people I admire and who have caused me to think on this time as precious and fleeting:

"Recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction." (Elder M. Russell Ballard, Daughters of God, Ensign, April 2008)

My friend Erica, commenting on the difficulty of raising her children away from family:

"When it is just you caring for your children 91 daytime hours a week, week after week, it becomes easy to lose the freshness, the vision of who they are. Slowly they cease being little spirits I’ve been entrusted with and start feeling like charges I’ve been burdened with. Thankfully, when I get to this point, it often coincides with a vacation to see family, and I begin to see my boys with the freshness that their grandparents see them with." ("How I See My Kids Anew," on Let Why Lead, April 16, 2012)

And this, which has become one of my favorite quotes about motherhood:

"A mother relating to her child in the private intimacy of her home, with no audience but unseen angels, is the predominant influence for all that is good and decent in the world." (George D. Durrant)

And if you have a minute, watch this sweet testimonial from an author who wrote a whole book about the fleeting nature of motherhood.

With those thoughts in mind, this is the first of my "Snapshot of a Mother" entries. It is real, it is untouched. The photos aren't my best, but they are sweet, and with them comes a tender memory of days now gone. I love how I feel when I see these pictures, which is exactly what I hope to capture through this photo journey. You'll forgive me if I don't share all my photos and entries with you. Some along the way may be just mine to keep, but here's the first of those I'll share. When I decided to start this project, I knew that these pictures would be the perfect ones to start things off.

Mornings with Eliot leading up to Zach's birth ...

I'm not sure at what point in my pregnancy with Zachary this little tradition started, but Eliot would come wake his sleeping mama every morning with a book to read. He usually had a blankie and a special snuggle friend in tow, as well (you can see his blue "Snugglebear," his most special friend, in his hand in these photos). I loved those moments when it was just me and my first-born, reading together, laughing, and snuggling in my bed as the sunlight trickled through the window. I asked Grant to take these photos because I wanted to always remember those special final moments when it was just Eliot and me. It was just "Eliot and me" for almost four years before we welcomed another baby into our home, and this little tradition was the perfect way to close that special chapter in my life as a mother. Though I slightly shudder at my appearance in these photos -- with my un-makeuped, double-chinned pregnancy face and "flabby" arms, I LOVE the memories and the feelings they captured.

My Easter Buddies, 2012

Zach's first Easter ...

Egg hunt dominated by Eliot ...

Easter this year also included: a special "Easter Walk" with Eliot to find and talk about symbols of Easter, the boys in matching Easter suits & ties (pictures coming soon), dinner with family, Monica won the "golden egg" in the "big kids" egg hunt, Eliot pouting about Mom winning the big prize, watching "Hop" and eating treats with Eliot, too much candy in our house, and leftover boiled eggs for a week.

Happy Easter

I recently received an e-mail with a link to this beautiful new song by Shawna Edwards, who wrote the Christmas song "Do You Have Room?" that I've shared in the past. What a lovely reminder of the purpose of this Easter season.

Provo Tabernacle Temple: Foundations

At the Provo Tabernacle, April 2012

(Eliot 4 1/2, Zachary 9 months)

Our little family is watching with great anticipation the building of the "Provo Tabernacle Temple" (what we're calling it; not sure what the official name will be). The area of south Provo where the former tabernacle/future temple stands is where our life began as a married couple. Grant and I lived in that very humble neighborhood for nearly five years, from when we were newlyweds in a scary little apartment where the Backman metal foundry, railroad tracks, and freeway overpass all intersect. It was a pretty shady place to live, that's for sure, but it was a wonderful, memorable time in our lives. There we were, as young newlyweds, high on life and full of hope, both fresh off our missions and ready to be put to work in one of the most poverty stricken neighborhoods of Utah. And put to work we were! We got to work right in the trenches, me as the Gospel Principles teacher, ward missionary, Young Women camp director, and eventually as a counselor in the Relief Society Presidency, Grant as Ward Mission Leader, Employment Specialist (a big calling in that particular ward, where a large percentage of the members were facing severe economic hardship), and then as counselor in the bishopric.

To say that we loved our time in that ward would be a gross understatement. I cannot think of that time in my life without filling with emotion and being so grateful that Heavenly Father led us to an area where we were truly needed. It was the best thing that could have happened to us as a newly married couple. To this day, I am convinced that those circumstances, though not ideal as far as safety, aesthetics, or convenience were concerned, were absolutely ideal for building the foundation of our marriage and family. We got to serve and work in an area where most of the members of our ward were truly downtrodden. And we got to do so alongside some of the most Christlike, pure-hearted people I have ever met. I cherish our memories in the Provo South Stake.

One of the tender blessings of living in south Provo was getting to attend stake conference in the Provo Tabernacle. There we were uplifted and encouraged to press forward by President "Buddy" Richards, our humble and magnificent stake president, who was a childhood friend of my mother's. At Christmas time, our stake was blessed to host the Living Nativity outside the Tabernacle walls, and Grant and I were fortunate enough to portray Mary and Joseph in 2005. Some of the most prized memories of our first years happened right in that humble little pocket of Provo. So it seems only fitting that our family, now growing with two little boys, will get to watch the tragically burned Tabernacle be converted into a temple. We feel deeply that this temple will be such a gift to that troubled yet wonderful little area of southwest Provo. We hope that its presence will be a light and a blessing to the people there. We plan to take our children for many more photo ops and teaching opportunities at that sacred site. Because, after all, that holy ground is part of the special place where the foundation of our family was built. We hope that our children will feel a respect and reverence for that place. It means so much to Grant and me. I will never forget when President Monson announced the plans to convert the Tabernacle into a temple at General Conference. Grant and I were both speechless and looked at each other with tears in our eyes. Our hearts are filled with joy to watch this miracle be built in a place that is so dear to us.

I'm so glad we caught this in time. This is the foundation of the original Provo Tabernacle. Apparently, a different one was there before the current one was built. You can see a picture of what it looked like below (on the "Provo Tabernacle" sign). The Church has had it excavated to dig up artifacts and do some research, but I guess they're going to cover it up again (we think they should have turned it into step-down garden, but I don't think they're taking suggestions ...)

We're excited to watch "our temple" be built up from this historic site that means so much to our little family!

(Side note: the gentleman you can see in this picture was such a fascinating person! He's a real history buff and photographer, with a special interest in photographing Church historic sites. He said he has over 9,000 photos of the Mormon pioneer trail! Amazing!)

"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; ... to comfort all that mourn; To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; ... And they shall build the old wastes, they shall raise up the former desolations, and they shall repair the waste cities, the desolations of many generations. ... And their seed shall be known among the Gentiles, and their offspring among the people: all that see them shall acknowledge them, that they are the seed which the Lord hath blessed. I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul shall be joyful in my God; ... For as the earth bringeth forth her bud, and as the garden causeth the things that are sown in it to spring forth; so the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to spring forth before all the nations."

-- Isaiah 61:1-4, 9-11

Jumpin' for Joy

This little video pretty much sums up what Eliot's into right now: his trampoline and his "Maddie's Mix CD" (music he got as a party favor at his cousin's birthday party). I would say those things are a part of our daily life right now. Jumping on his trampoline to one of "Maddie's Songs" (usually one from the newest Muppet movie soundtrack) has even become part of our bedtime routine. To which I say, "Whatever wears him out!" I do have to say that the trampoline, which Eliot received as a Christmas gift from his aunties, has been a wonderful way to expend all that little boy energy, especially on rainy days.

Spring ... Sorta

We built this snowman, the first one we've been able to build this season, literally on the first day of spring (do you see the daffodils in the background?). Ah, bizarre Utah weather. Eliot had been begging me to use his "snowman kit" that his Grandma Dickinson gave him for Christmas all winter, but we never had any snow that stuck ... until spring! His little buddy Weston came and helped us put the finishing touches on. Unfortunately, the day warmed up too quickly, and Frosty was toppled over and mostly melted by the afternoon. It made a little boy's day while it lasted!

9 Months

I am in serious denial right now! My "baby" is nine months old! And he wants to be twice that age! Maybe it's the difference between first child and second child, but Zach seems like he's in such a hurry to grow up. He's crawling -- lightning fast, I might add -- and sitting, and pounding down crazy amounts of food, and wanting to ride in the seat of the grocery cart and NOT in his car seat. Grant and I have a hunch he'll be an earlier walker than Eliot was, too. And I just want him to stay little and be my snuggly babe! Even if he's in a rush to be a big boy, I wouldn't trade my Zachers for anything. He has such a sweet and happy disposition, mixed with a fair share of mischievousness!

Here's some of what Zach's up to as a 9 month old:

• Crawling like crazy. He is one quick dude!
• Pulling to standing. He's especially motivated if there's something he can get into, like food at the kids' table, puzzles or toys on the train table, laundry on the couch or ottoman. The only down side to this skill (besides getting into everything) is that he doesn't know how to get back down. He just stands and fusses for help!
• Babbling up a storm. We're moving away from the screams and screeches, but he has kept them in his repertoire and saves them for what he deems as opportune moments -- like sacrament meeting.
• Gobbling up food. Ironic that we've spent some extra time at the pediatrician's, who's concerned about his weight, because the kid has put one serious dent in our grocery bill and eats like a pig. He loves just about anything we give him, which is great.
• Sitting up tall. We were getting nervous about this one. He crawled before he ever sat. He just didn't seem interested (there's too much to do, after all!) But now he sits up big and strong.
• Four teeth and working on an entire top row. There's no shortage of drool around these parts!
• Hair's still a beautiful strawberry blond, but getting long and wispy. I'm tempted to trim off the "wings" over his ears but can't bring myself to give him that first haircut. So for now he stays fuzzy wuzzy. But oh, it's gorgeous in the sunlight!
• Sweet and happy. He can charm just about anyone with his squinty, cheesy smile. He reminds me so much of Grant because he is honestly happy all the time (except if you fail to get food in his mouth fast enough).

We love our little "Ree"!!

Climbing in the foam pits at cousin Madelyn's birthday party in March. Just one of the big kids!

"The world is my jungle gym." Give him anything, he'll climb in, on, through, around, on top of it!! Another busy, busy boy!

Eliot's Primary Solo

It has been months since Eliot's debut performance in our Primary sacrament meeting program, but I had to get him singing his song on video. This version is a little more "forced" than his official performance (I'm sure having a captive audience of a couple hundred people helped him with holding back a little!), but this is still tender. Needless to say, he melted a few hearts that day (I still get comments about it from ward members). I'm so proud of my brave, sweet little singer!

What's Your Sign?

You have to watch this to the end to see the meaning of my post title. It's reassuring to me, in a very bittersweet way, that we all have our own beautiful heartbreaks. Working through mine one day at a time. As we all are. What a beautiful woman for writing and sharing this song. Take a minute. It's worth a watch. You should probably grab a Kleenex before you do.

Love This!

Why is it easy to see this as part of my future with boys?!

Be Our Valentine!

Happy Valentine's Day!