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Happy Heart Day ...

... from the Dickinsons!

Grant, Monica, Eliot, & Baby Zachary

Lots of loves!

As my Primary kids would sing, "One year older and wiser too ..." Though I have to say I'm not feeling much "wiser" these days! My brain has been absolutely gone with this pregnancy, to the point that it's so frustrating to me. I've done such silly things lately (just ask my sister-in-law who received an empty envelope from me in the mail, only to receive the real one with a check in it a few days later ... blush!). So I guess I'm at least one year older, but maybe not wiser! But I did have a nice birthday this year. SUPER delish dinner at my in-laws the Sunday before, which made this pregnant lady so happy! Tony Roma's ribs (which you can now buy at Costco ... that could be trouble!), amazing "low fat" (not so much) cheesy potatoes, and red velvet cake for dessert. I will probably blush big time at my next Dr. appt. when the nurse weighs me, but oh well. I did the same thing last time with Eliot, and it was worth the celebrations then, and it was worth the celebrations now!

At La Jolla Groves for my b-day dinner.

So fun to get to go to such a great place with my favorite person in the world!

My favorite part of my birthday was getting to go out to dinner with Grant. We don't tend to eat out too much, so when we do, it's a major occasion for us. We have discovered a new favorite restaurant, La Jolla Groves, in the Riverwoods in Provo. The chef is the same one that used to run Chef's Table, our absolute favorite splurge, but he recently decided to go a little more mainstream and opened up this much more affordable restaurant, much to our delight. You can tell the food is still his -- the sauces, dressings, and seasonings are lick-your-plate good, but I think I might love the atmosphere as much as the food (which says a lot since I'm a food girl!). La Jolla Groves is meant to look like a lemon grove, so there are tons of fake lemon trees with cool lanterns hanging from them. The tables are set with crisp white linens, lemon-yellow napkins, and white dinnerware -- all completely my style. I love it! Their best dish on the menu (we think) is their Stuffed Chicken Crepes, but everything we've tried is yummy. I had Chicken Alfredo this time around -- good, but not as amazing as the crepes. I was envious of Grant's beef tenderloin this time around. One of the best parts, honestly, was the house dressing, a lemon vinaigrette that seriously left me feeling like I'd just had dessert after my first course -- yum!

A dear friend of mine wrote in a birthday card to me that she is so happy for all of the dreams that have come true for me at this point in my life and for all of the blessings coming our way this year. Her thoughts made me reflect on what a good place I'm at in my life right now. I've learned by experience that life is subject to ups and downs and that marriage and parenthood, aging and health, family and personal relationships are all subject to sudden change, so it's a wonderful thing to celebrate when you're in a good place. I try to be genuinely grateful for those moments as they come.

Some of the things I am especially grateful for at this point in my life are (in no particular order):

1. My marriage. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have Grant. I love him dearly.

2. My boys -- my Eliot and my baby Zachary. They are my sunshine and delight!

3. My health, especially right now.

4. Grant's job -- so many of his classmates and others in his field are struggling right now. It's a struggle getting started, but we feel overwhelmed to have been so blessed.

5. My family's health. Glad my boys are doing so well -- all three of them! I'm glad my extended family are doing okay.

6. This pregnancy, a long-awaited, joyous blessing for our family.

7. Having the gospel in my life. I don't know what I would do without the peace and perspective it brings me.

8. Being so close to temples again and to have a recommend. I just renewed it, and as with each time I do, I feel so privileged to have access to the holy, heavenly sanctuary.

9. "Scripture Power" -- I love having access to the scriptures and can testify alongside my Primary kids that "every day I need the power that I get each time I read."

10. Family. I appreciate my parents and siblings and all they have done and continue to do for us. It's a blessing to live close to them again and to have more frequent interactions with them.

11. My sisters. I love them more than they probably realize. I feel such loyalty and love toward them.

12. My calling -- it tests and tries me and keeps me humble, but when I stop and think about it, it makes me so happy. I can't imagine serving anywhere else right now.

13. My home. This morning Eliot asked me if we have a roof on our house, and as I explained to him that we do and because of it, we're safe from the rain and snow, I realized what a blessing it is to have a roof over our heads. My home is a place of great comfort and peace to me. It's where I most want to be.

14. Good books. I am in the middle of one of the most touching and insightful books I have ever read, and I love the influence of good literature on my thoughts and heart.

15. Friends. I love and appreciate my friendships -- the new ones I'm forming, and the ones that have stood the test of time. I have always been blessed by good influences on my life. I feel undeserving sometimes of the love and association I have with such great people.

16. Mountains. The other morning the wind was blowing the fresh snow on the tops of Mount Timpanogos and Y mountain, and there was the most beautiful swirl of white against the deepest blue sky, and I felt so grateful to be back in Utah next to "my mountains."

17. "Hard things." In the book I'm reading, it talks about the connection between the hardest things in life and the best things in life. I am thankful for the struggles I have had that have caused me to lean on the Lord, on my husband, and on my loved ones. I can see how my character has grown as a result, no matter how much I may have complained at the time!

18. Oregon. Now that we're coming up on a year since we graduated and moved from Salem, I think all the time how grateful I am we made the choice to go to school there. It's such a beautiful place with such wonderful people. It left an imprint on our hearts, for sure.

19. Good food. Really, Monica? It's true -- I love the comfort of a delicious meal and the power of bringing people together. Dinner time is probably my favorite time of day. I love to sit down, eat something yummy, and talk with Grant and Eliot. I love the feeling of unity that comes with it. I love planning, shopping for, and preparing meals for my family -- it's one of my favorite things about being a wife and mom.

20. Laughter. I love the many ways that Grant can make me smile, that Eliot makes me giggle on a daily basis, I love watching a show that makes me laugh out loud. I love friends that can laugh with me about our motherhood blunders. I love friends' blogs that provide opportunities to laugh and smile about life in general. I love the sound of loud laughter at family gatherings, and I honestly think the laughter of my child is my favorite sound in the whole world.

I could maybe keep going, but feel content with that list. So many reasons to celebrate ...

Our Little Peanut ...

... is healthy, active, and developing right on track. It's also a ...

BOY!!

We were so relieved to learn Monday that our sweet little one has a healthy heart, brain, organs, spine, etc. He has beautiful long fingers, likes to hold his arms and hands up by his face like a boxer ready to take a jab, and he was not shy at all about showing off his masculinity! He did not, however, let us see much of his cute little face, so we had to schedule another Ultrasound to make sure all is well there. He's our "low rider" and likes to hang out way down low in his Mommy's tummy. Instead of being curled up in a comfortable little ball, he prefers the "hammock" position and likes to swing the day away all stretched out.

The picture above shows a book we bought to announce Eliot to our families, a sweet book written from a grandpa's perspective (Billy Crystal's), telling about all the things he looks forward to doing with his grandchild-to-be. We love it and are happy to have it out to look at and enjoy again. The little baby doll is one my mom bought for me for Christmas along with a gift card for baby needs. She just "happened" to pick up a girl one for my sister who's expecting and a boy one for me. Though we didn't know the genders of either baby at the time, my mom's "predictions" were dead on -- Lil's pretty good that way. Lil also can't help herself from buying more baby necessities like onesies and cute jammies, despite the fact that these babies will be grandbabies #14 and 15 for her and both mommies are pretty well stocked (but can you ever have too many tiny white onesies and adorable, soft jammies?!). We're thankful for Lil's and everyone else's excitement. We can't wait to start preparing for this little guy.

As for names, we're pretty settled on Zachary Bryce, though a final decision and spellings are still up for negotiation -- such is life when one of the parents is a lawyer, I guess -- always room for debate. We chose Zachary because we like it and because of the song "A Baby Just Like You" by John Denver. I was listening to the song a few Christmases back and the name Zachary clicked in my head as one I really liked, especially because of the tender message of the song. It stuck ever since, and with a little convincing, Grant agreed on it (initially, he had some name association issues to get over).

From "A Baby Just Like You" by John Denver:

Oh little angel, shining light
You've set my soul to dreaming
You've given back my joy in life
You' ve filled me with new meaning

A Savior King was born that day
A baby just like you
And as the Magi came with gifts
I've come with my gift too

That peace on earth fills up your time
That brotherhood surrounds you
That you may know the warmth of love
And wrap it all around you

It's just a wish, a dream I'm told
From days when I was young
Merry Christmas little Zachary
Merry Christmas ev'ryone.

"Bryce" we've chosen in honor of my dad:

My father was named for his great-great grandfather, Ebenezer Bryce, who built the Pine Valley Chapel near St. George, Utah, pictured below. The amazing story behind this chapel is that my Great-great-great grandfather didn't know how to build buildings -- he was a ship builder, so this chapel is actually built as a modified upside-down ship. You can go up into the attic and see the "ship's frame" at the top of the building. Cool, huh!

A beautiful painting of the chapel by LDS artist Al Rounds, a gift from my dad to all his girls, hangs in our living room as a reminder of our pioneer ancestry.

My great-great-great grandpa was also the pioneer for whom beautiful Bryce Canyon was named. We think little Zachary Bryce will have quite the heritage to live up to. We hope he'll be creative, strong and resilient like his pioneer grandfather, and smart, kind, and generous like his "Ampy" McEuen.

It's fun to start getting a better sense of this little one and his personality. He seems a bit spunky (the "second" children in the McEuen side of the family tend to be ...). We can't wait to get better pictures of him at our next appointment (hopefully!). None of them were quite post-worthy this time, which was disappointing since we got such beautiful profile shots of Eliot at 20 weeks. Hopefully we'll have something to share at the end of February. We really are just happy to know that he's healthy and progressing as he should. That's really all we can ask for. We're so pleased to welcome another boy into our family. Bring on all the rough and tumble active play -- it's worth it! We love the power of those future priesthood holders, missionaries, and fathers in our home!

As for Eliot, he's a little disappointed he doesn't get to "be like Mike," his cousin who will have a baby sister. Eliot wanted so badly to be just like his twin cousin that after we whispered in his ear that he was having a little brother and told him to tell the news to his eagerly awaiting grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, he pulled a fast one and told them it was a sister. :) The idea of a brother is growing on him now, and he practices holding the baby doll gently and teaching it new things. I found him showing the doll how to operate a toy camera today (he covered one of the baby's eyes and instructed it, "just close this eye here, then look with the other eye, and then ... click!"). So sweet. Can't wait to see our Eliot and Zach together!

My Little Sunbeam

This handsome little cheeser is one of the new front-row Joes of our Primary! My little Eliot is a Sunbeam! He is one of many little spitfires in his class, which will keep his teachers busy, but it was very tender to have him with me in Primary last week, singing along and participating -- he even got called up to use one of the puppets to help in singing time! He even has his very own copy of The Book of Mormon to take so that he can show his "scripture power" with all the other kids each week (this year's theme is "I Know the Scriptures Are True," and we've asked all the kids to bring scriptures to Primary with them). What a fun blessing to get to be in Primary and witness my first child's first experience as a new little Sunbeam. He'll probably make me crazy and melt my heart all at once!

Christmas 2010

Before January ends, I thought I should document our Christmas of 2010. I'm just now recovering from all that's been going on the last couple months and finally feeling my energy come back. Since Thanksgiving, we've been helping Eliot through some pretty rough, "mystery" illnesses (meaning, hundreds of dollars spent on testing later, we never found out what was causing his troubles). I'll spare you the gory details, but let's just say potty training has suffered some major setbacks, and Eliot didn't sleep for over a month (which was rough on ALL of us!). THANKFULLY, we got a one-week break right before and through Christmas, so Eliot was well enough to enjoy his surprise Polar Express ride (watch his blog for a post coming soon!) and Christmas. A few days after Christmas, we were back to where we started, but we think Eliot may finally be on the mends now (for good we hope). All I can say is what a difference a good night's sleep makes (understatement!), three cheers for Probiotics for helping with digestive problems, and last but not least, my kid better have built up some rockin' resistance from all these illnesses he's been battling!

But on to our Christmas ...

Our same, sad little hand-me-down tree (one day we'll upgrade ...) with all our Christmas loot. Santa was mighty good to us this year. This year's "big" gifts included a "Driod" (aka Droid -- ask Grant about the Chinese knock-off spelling) smartphone for Grant, a new rocker recliner for the Mommy-to-be, and a train set (Mom and Dad's big surprise) and train table (courtesy of Grandma and Grandpa) for Eliot.

Evidence that Santa came ... half-eaten cookies, no trace of Lil's fudge left (Santa absolutely has discriminating taste when it comes to goodies, we've learned), an empty glass of milk, and the key we let him use to get in. For the first time in our married life, we actually have a fireplace for the Jolly Old Guy to use, but Eliot did not buy into the chimney bit ... at all. Luckily we had bought this key last year so Santa could have access to our apartment. So we appeased Eliot by hanging the key outside our front door ... looks like Santa really does use the door when necessary, because it was left on his cookie plate!

Eliot (can you find him, camouflaged in the red wrapping?) scoping out the goods.

Tired-eyed boy. Nope, didn't sleep well at all on Christmas Eve. ("Too excited to sleep!")

That's more like it. Hand the kid a Santa Potato Head (his gift from Aunt Melissa at the McEuen family gift exchange), and he's a happy camper.

Our family photo. Yes, I would have preferred to be in jammies, too, but I had to be up and at 'em early in order to be ready for our packed Christmas schedule. Glad Potato Head could make the picture ... maybe he's standing in to represent our little Peanut?

Opening up gifts ...

Digging into stockings (Eliot's only requests were M&Ms and suckers ... Santa came through!).

Yet another of Santa's big surprises ... a tool bench for Eliot. Now he can be like his heroes Bob the Builder and Handy Manny. If only Mommy knew what all the tools were used for ...

Now We're Really Regretting ...

... that we missed the Living Nativity at the Provo Tabernacle this year. We were counting on them holding a Sunday night performance like they used to, but when we pulled up, the scenery was already taken down, so no dice. I was disappointed that we didn't get to take Eliot to experience his first live nativity -- he would have loved the live animals, even if he would have had to brave the cold to see them. The Provo one was especially meaningful to us because Grant and I got to depict Joseph and Mary in 2005. Last week the Tabernacle was declared a total loss after this heartbreaking fire broke out in the middle of the night. Farewell to our beloved Tabernacle, that housed so many warm memories for us during our first married years. How I wish we had been able to attend the nativity one last time ... so sad.

Worth Repeating

I posted this last year, though I've noticed it has undergone some changes since then. I love the music and message just as much, maybe even more, as I did then. Have a merry, Christ-centered Christmas. May His Spirit and the beautiful music and meaning of this season fill you with joy, hope, and peace.

This Holiday Season, I'm Looking Forward to ...

Being HOME for the entire Christmas season. I get to decorate my home and enjoy it the entire month of December! It has been wonderful of my gracious in-laws to host us for the past few years, and a part of me will miss being in "vacation mode" (you mean I don't get to ditch my calling and housework responsibilities for a month?!), but, "there's no place like home for the holidays." We're looking forward to forming some of our own traditions as a little family. Plus (yahoo!) no cleaning out our fridge, no packing a month's worth of clothes (and praying we don't go over the weight limit), no stressful holiday travel, no worries of coming back to frozen pipes, mold, etc. ... just staying cozy at home! I feel so relaxed already!
Breaking out all my favorite Christmas music ... Amy Grant, John Denver, James Taylor, Peter Breinholt, Kurt Bestor, the Tabernacle Choir, random mixes from over the years ... can't wait!
Watching It's a Wonderful Life, Elf, White Christmas, Home Alone, Miracle on 34th Street (Dylan McDermott version, please), and The Muppet's Christmas Carol.
Going to one of our favorite local performances-- Peter Breinholt in SLC with my family.
Getting to use our "Cocoa Latte" machine to have Stephen's Mint Cocoa and the Cannery's super-rich hot chocolate ... nummers!
Making all the goodies I grew up making with my mom and pawning them off on neighbors and friends! Thumbprint cookies (with my own special touch of Marionberry jam in the middle), Wedding Cookies, Snickerdoodles, and fudge, if Lil will let me help her make it.
Taking Eliot on a surprise excursion on the "Polar Express" on the Heber Valley Railroad. Grant and I went when I was expecting Eliot, and I have dreamed of taking him ever since. I don't know who will be more excited ... Eliot, or his mom and dad!
Receiving Christmas cards in the mail from friends and family.
Going to the Living Nativity at the Provo Tabernacle, and hopefully running into friends from our former stake in Provo, who host the event.
Walking around to see the lights on Temple Square, even if it's fa-reezing!! (I think I've become acclimatized to mild Oregon winters!)

Officially Geeks

Please don't judge me, but Grant and I went to a midnight showing of Harry Potter 7 the night it came out. We started listening to the audio books back in March as a road trip diversion, and I got hooked (nope, this English major/secondary ed teacher had never read Harry Potter before!). I finished book 7 the day of the movie, and, as geeky as it may make us, we were SO excited to see the movie! Grant got free tickets from a radio station, my sister-in-law came and stayed the night with Eliot, and we, along with all the college kids and other Harry Potter "freaks," waited in line for hours. We may or may not have felt a wee bit out of place, seeing as we weren't in full-fledged costumes (I did bring a pair of oversized glasses and forced Grant to take pictures), and we were among some of the only parents there without children. A little silly, but worth it. We loved the flick, even with the unnecessary and "controversial" scenes (wow, Utah can blow things out of proportion ... the added scenes were laughably lame). The miracle of it all, considering I usually fall asleep on anything we watch at home, even if we start it early, was that I stayed awake for the entire thing (might have had something to do with the giant Coke I drank). I'm just glad I have a husband that doesn't mind being a nerd with me ...

Here's what I learned from my first-ever midnight showing experience:

Bring food -- pizza, snacks, whatever. Even if you ate dinner and plan on getting popcorn and drinks to stay awake, it will be torture smelling everyone else's food and not having something of your own to munch on.
Bring more than one card game.
Tell the single guy who asks if he can sit in the lone empty seat at the end of your row that it's actually taken, even if it's not. His commentary throughout the entire show will sour your experience that you stayed up all night for.
Don't go for the popcorn refill, as tasty as that first one was. The rumbling in your tummy in the wee hours of the morning when the movie lets out just won't be worth it.
Be prepared for lots of movie-goers in costumes, many of which you will not recognize from the books or understand. Just go with it.
The catnap in line worked like a charm. Next time, though, bring a more comfy purse to use as your pillow.

Counting Blessings

Over the past couple weeks, I have received bad news after bad news from dear people in my life. Really seriously sad things happening to people I love dearly. Heartbreaking things like one of my best friends losing her mother unexpectedly, running into a good friend from my home ward and learning that his wife suffers from a chronic illness that keeps them from having children, and, most recently, finding out that my brother-in-law lost his only brother this week. One of the hardest of all for me to take was learning that one of my mission companions lost her four-year-old son this past July in a tragic accident. I have been shocked and devastated to receive each of these pieces of news. And as much as I wish I could, I just don't have anything to offer these dear people in my life in terms of comfort. I'm mostly just so sad for them all.

Receiving all of this news all at once has kind of stunned me and opened my eyes to how much suffering is happening all around me, that good people are not immune to tragedy. I ache to love and comfort and yet know that each of these individuals has to pass through these trials in their own private way. It's part of our mortal journey, I know that. But it pains me to think of the quiet hours of anguish and sorrow that my family members and friends must endure.

As I have thought particularly about my sweet mission companion losing her little boy, my mind has taken me down the surreal road of how it would feel to lose Eliot, how I would possibly cope, trying to imagine all that my friend has been experiencing these past few months. One afternoon as I was contemplating each of these recent tragedies, I felt humbled to realize how much sorrow I have been spared in my life. Sure, I have had my own difficulties, and my life is far from perfect. My own family has experienced our own source of grief and agony, but nothing in comparison to what I see happening currently in the lives of those I love. Who's to say what will tomorrow will bring for me and my family -- I'm realizing, as I see observe these sorrows as an outsider, that things can change so quickly, that life can change in an instant. So for now, I humbly and gratefully recognize how merciful the Lord has been to me. Maybe because He knows what a wuss I am and that I could not bear any of those particular sorrows.

So what do I do for my suffering loved ones, besides try to express love and sympathy, to provide a listening ear or whatever service I might render? I'm not sure what to do. The injunction to "bear one another's burdens, that they may be light," has run through my mind over and over again lately, but I'm not quite sure how to best do that given the magnitude of these losses. I welcome your suggestions of what has helped you most in your own moments of loss or grief. For today, I am at least counting my blessings. Glad for each day that passes that we're together, healthy, employed, fed, housed -- all of the things that I probably take for granted far too often. Grateful for the gospel that provides hope and perspective, and hoping and praying that my faith would and will sustain me through the challenges of my own mortal experience.

Among my blessings, I am counting my knowledge of this great truth: "And what is it that ye shall hope for? Behold, I say unto you that he shall have hope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life eternal, and this because of your faith in him according to the promise" (Moroni 7:41).

Happy Fall (Now that it's pretty much over...)!

A few weeks ago, the weather was gorgeous and sunny, and knowing that according to the forecast, it wasn't going to last much longer (and it didn't -- it's now COLD and snowy in Utah ... I'm so not ready for this!), we knew we needed to take advantage and get out for our family fall picnic. So we grabbed our "finger-lickin' good" meal to-go and headed for the canyon. The leaves were pretty much done with changing color by that point, and most were on the ground, but we were able to get a few pretty shots and had a wonderful time together.

After dinner, the leaves were just too tempting, so we had to

make some piles and jump in them ...

And of course, throw them at each other!

Eliot had a great time in the leaves. His favorite part was building "dinosaur nests," aka leaf piles (we're just a little into "Dinosaur Train" around here these days ...).

We walked (or in Eliot's case, rode) the path to Bridal Veil Falls,

And enjoyed the beautiful scenery of Provo Canyon.

And naturally, if there are rocks and water, throwing has to be involved!

Goodbye for now, Fall fun ... we'll do it again next year!

"This is IT. This is EVERYTHING."

I have had some beautiful experiences in my life recently that have gotten me thinking about what matters most. About a month ago, Grant and I attended one of the sweetest events we've ever been to -- the sealing of a beautiful family in the Provo temple. We met Jesus and Evelyn and their sweet baby, Jasmine, a couple summers ago when we were called to teach the Gospel Principles class in Grant's parents' ward. Among our class members was that beautiful couple, who had been baptized right before we had returned to Utah for the summer. Teaching Jesus and Evelyn was like teaching on my mission all over again. They had such a sincere thirst for the gospel and were so excited to learn all of the simple truths we taught in that class. It was such a joy to share our testimonies with them and to see the light in their eyes as they were re-introduced to the beautiful teachings of our Heavenly Father's plan.

Grant and I could not have been more delighted to be called this past summer to teach the Temple Preparation course to a few couples in Grant's parents' ward, among them, Jesus and Evelyn. By then, little Jasmine was in Nursery with Eliot, and Jesus and Evelyn were just as thirsty as ever to learn more gospel truths and prepare to be sealed as a family in the temple. Our only disappointment was that we moved before we had taught Jesus and Evelyn all of the lessons; we wish we could have seen them through the entire course. It was such a privilege and joy to teach them and to be taught by them. It was humbling to witness their enthusiasm for their first temple experience and the covenants they would soon make; it made me want to not take for granted those same blessings in my own life.

Just a day or so after we had been to the temple for Grant's sister's sealing, I received a text message from Evelyn, inviting us to attend their family's sealing. I was so thrilled for the opportunity, and it was one of the choicest opportunities I have ever had. There is nothing quite like seeing a couple sealed to one another and then to have the doors open and see their little one, dressed like an angel in perfect white, brought to them to be sealed to them. Sweet Jasmine had fallen asleep in the temple worker's arms. It was a heavenly opportunity to witness that beautiful family sealed. We learned that day that Evelyn is expecting their second child, who, by virtue of the covenants they made, will be automatically sealed to them. As Grant and I walked, more like floated, from the temple that day, I said, "I don't think it gets any better than that."

Though a much different experience, today was also a sacred occasion for me. I attended the funeral of the mother of one of my best friends. My dear friend Melissa and I have been close friends since Junior High. She is a loyal, kind, non-judgmental, faithful, funny, and good-natured friend. She's the kind of friend that I can go years without seeing, and yet when we're back together, it's like we were never apart. I love her dearly and count my friendship with Missy as one of the great blessings of my teenage years; I know that my life and the choices I have made were very much influenced by having good friends like her. She has always been a quiet, righteous example in my life. Though I didn't have a close personal relationship with Melissa's mother, I always admired her quiet, gentle manner. I knew, as my own mother put it so beautifully this week, "Girls like Melissa don't just happen. They're raised by good mothers."

And Missy's mom was certainly a good mother. She was more than good. She was, as her obituary and the beautiful memorial service held in her honor attested, an "outstanding, wonderful, wise mother." One of her daughters gave this lovely tribute: "Mothering was her talent; it was her gift." As I listened to many more similar tributes, I felt over and over again that Melissa's mother was a heart-and-soul mother, a faithful member of the Church who gave quietly and willingly all her life. She was humble, kind, charitable, full of faith. As her wonderful Stake President and my former seminary teacher bore witness, she "understood what it meant to be a woman, and she became that." As sorrowful as I am for my dear friend and the unexpected loss of her mother, I could not help but walk away from today's funeral feeling enlightened, uplifted, empowered. Through the righteous example of that faithful family, who stand as a monument to the influence of a righteous woman, I felt blessed to move forward with faith and courage in my own role as wife and mother. I determined there is little, if anything, that matters more than how I fulfill my role as a wife and mother. I desire to be more like sweet Melissa's mother, a quiet, unassuming, yet strong and faithful woman, who can influence so many through the little things -- home-cooked meals; diligent Family Home Evening, scripture study, and prayer; informal teaching moments; withholding judgment and criticism; loving patiently, calmly, wisely, fully. Because that all makes a difference. We live in a world that seriously undermines and undervalues motherhood, which makes it sometimes all too easy to forget how incredibly important it is.

Which is the underlying message of what I have been feeling in my heart these past few weeks -- how much these things truly matter. How much it matters to be sealed in the temple for time and eternity. How much being a faithful, devoted, kind and caring mother matters. In the words of my awesome missionary cousin Amanda, "This is IT. This is EVERYTHING." In the quiet and sacred moments of the past month, I have felt profound promptings in my soul that these things are it -- they are everything. And at the heart of everything that matters lies "the Way, the Truth, and the Life." Only because of Jesus Christ and His infinite Atonement is any of it possible. Only because of Him are families eternal; it is His priesthood power that binds us, it is the power wrought by His Resurrection that we too may live again and be restored with our loved ones. It is through Him that I have any chance of overcoming my weaknesses and becoming the mother I desire to be. It is only through Him that we can be given the strength necessary to keep our families intact in these trying times.

Next Sunday, my sweet Primary children will perform their sacrament meeting presentation. They, with the help of a very capable counselor and wonderful teachers, have prepared beautifully. My favorite part of the program is the brand new song they learned for this year's theme. It is called "I Know That My Savior Loves Me." I can't sing it or hear it sung without tearing up. It is so beautiful. The first verse is my favorite:

A long time ago in a beautiful place,

Children were gathered 'round Jesus.

He blessed and taught as they felt of His love.

Each saw the tears on His face.

The love that He felt for His little ones,

I know He feels for me.
I did not touch Him or sit on His knee,

Yet, Jesus is real to me.

Now I am here in a beautiful place,

Learning the teachings of Jesus.

Parents and teachers will help guide the way,

Lighting my path every day.

Wrapped in the arms of my Savior's love,

I feel His gentle touch.

Living each day, I will follow His way,

Home to my Father above.

I know He lives!

I will follow faithfully,

My heart I give to Him,

I know that my Savior loves me.

I do know that my Savior loves me, and, just as the Primary children sing so sweetly, "Jesus is real to me." And that knowledge is IT. It is EVERYTHING.