Today I'm Breaking My Sugar Fast ...

... to have a Kit Kat in honor of a beautiful woman in our ward who passed away a little over a week ago. She was just a little older than my own mother and was taken too quickly by cancer. I didn't know sweet Kathy well at all. She was so private, but I always admired her. She was humble, lovely, and quietly faithful in her church service. I knew her and her husband best as one of the poor couples who often sat by us in the very back of the chapel. She and her sweet husband tolerated us and our Eliot escapades. She always smiled warmly and never seemed too annoyed by us. Apparently, Kathy's nick-name was "Kit Kat," which was her favorite candy bar, and a woman in our ward suggested that we all buy, hand out, and enjoy Kit Kats today, which would have been sweet Kathy's 60th birthday, in honor of that sweet, unassuming lady. Have a Kit Kat today to honor the lovely women in your life. I will.

Congratulations ...

... to my brother-in-law, Louie, who just completed the "Lotoja" (Logan to Jackson Hole) race this past weekend! That's a lot of miles to log, but probably as pretty as it gets!

And congrats to Mary and Madelyn, who were no doubt the cutest support crew there!

"I Will Not Take These Things For Granted"

My recent vow/mantra of not wishing away our final year of law school (see "My New Mantra" post) was reinforced profoundly this week when Grant called me Monday morning with some sad news. An attorney in Utah who had been a friend and mentor to Grant was killed in a car accident over the weekend while traveling to Southern Utah for a family vacation. I knew the man only from things Grant had told me about him -- that Grant had really admired him, that he was a Willamette Law School graduate, that he was a man of integrity, a wise and effective attorney, and that he was among the attorneys who was kindly showing Grant the ropes. As I have for many of Grant's professional associates whom I've never officially met, but hear about as Grant tells me about his budding career, I developed a gratitude for Nyal Bodily and other men and women like him, who, with perhaps no personal gain, aren't too busy, too important, or too talented to take the time to help "the new guy." From the sounds of it, this was a good man, who, perhaps illogically to us in the here and now, was taken too soon, or, in the words of his beautifully written obituary, "before [his family's] hearts were ready." And as such situations sometimes do, this one hit too close to home.

Like I said, I didn't know Grant's friend, but it was far too easy to put ourselves in the position of his family. Nyal was raised in Orem, attended Grant's same high school, and married the "love of his life." They had gone to law school at Willamette, got their career off to a good start in Provo, and, if their financial situation was anything like ours will be, probably paid off their whopping debt not too long ago. They had a young family, and in many ways, I imagine they were just beginning their family's promising life together. He was good at what he did; he was good to his family. The comparisons to my own life were a little haunting; like I told Grant, "that's us in ten years." So when Grant called me with the news, it was very easy to feel the gravity of the situation and to feel a profound loss for a family I had never met. In our prayers that night, I choked up as I prayed for that family, that they would be comforted, that they would have courage to face the days ahead.

When Grant called me to tell me what had happened, he sheepishly apologized after he'd recounted the events, and said, "Sorry I called just to tell you that." But I'm glad he did. Although I did not have much to say, I was thankful that Grant thought first to call me for whatever comfort I could give. Because this was one of those "wake-up call" moments that make you want to cling to those you love -- to just hear their voice, to know they're still there. To be comforted that for now all is well, that you are safe, that you are healthy. I remember feeling similarly across the ocean in Spain when I learned of the events of 9/11. I remember one of my sisters telling me that the only thing she could think to do that day was to huddle her little family together and hold and hug her husband and children. Sometimes I think we need to witness tragedies, even if from afar, to recognize how safe, healthy, and good our lives are, at least for today.

All the more reason for me not to wish away my life, even the hard stuff. Because you never know when it could all change or be taken from you. So for today I'm happy that my husband is still here, that together we're working on finishing up school so Grant can have a career that will support our family. I'm happy that we're all healthy, that no disease or illness is pressing upon us as it does for so many. I'm happy that I have a little boy who is physically well and developing right on track. I'm happy that I have the gospel, that my life has meaning, purpose, and direction. I'm happy to have a place to live and food to eat. I'm happy to have two sets of parents and siblings who love and suport me, who would do anything for me if I just asked. At a time in my life when it would be easy to focus on how little we have, there are moments, even if they come as the result of hearing tragic news, when I realize just how much I do have. So today, and hopefully always, I will not take these things for granted.

"The Bridge That God Built"

We stumbled upon this beautiful piece of Americana today on our way back from the coast. This is the Drift Creek Bridge, which is not only beautiful to look at, but has a miraculous little story behind it. When you visit the bridge, you're asked to only walk across it, and inside you'll find a guest book you can sign and a one-page printout of the story behind the bridge. It is a faith-filled, heartwarming story that gave us goosebumps when we read it. I was tempted to type up the whole thing (and I'd be willing to do so and e-mail it to anyone interested), but the basic gist is that this bridge was to be torn down back in 1997, but a couple, the parents of five young children at the time, both received a prompting in the middle of the night to "check the measurements" of the concrete bridge they had just built on the property where they would soon build a home. When they were both awakened by the same prompting, they racked their brains trying to figure out what it meant. When they put the pieces together that their bridge might be the answer to saving the historic Drift Creek Bridge, they acted immediately and requested a hearing to stop the Drift Creek bridge demolition, which was already in its beginning stages. At the hearing, the couple suggested that, at their own cost and expecting nothing in return, they would relocate the bridge to their property so that the public could continue to enjoy the rich piece of history. At that point the wife, who authored the story, said that miracle after miracle occurred so they could secure the remains of the bridge and then restore it. But they had enormous hardships along the way, and at one point wanted to give up altogether. But again, miracles took place to keep them going, including having a local lumber company contact them in person about needing to log the area around their home -- which provided the couple with the specified wood they would need to rebuild the framework of the bridge. Another miracle included receiving a 1999 calendar in the mail in October of that year (a little late in the year to be receiving a "new" calendar) from a life insurance provider through whom the couple didn' t even have insurance. The woman broke down into tears when the picture for October -- the month she received the calendar -- was the Drift Creek Bridge, the one that at that time was strewn about in pieces in her yard. Such divine interventions inspired the couple to press forward and make their dream a reality, despite the toll it was taking on them, their marriage, and their family. When all the pieces came together -- literally -- the bridge you see in the pictures above, was the result. And according to the woman who wrote the story, every time she sees it (they live in a beautiful home just on the other side of the bridge), she sees "the bridge that God built."

Today was one of those days I'm so happy we took the turnoff we've always meant to take and found this golden piece of history and a story that I will forever love.

Round 3, Take 5

Yep, a new school year means a new photo in front of the law school. Our "happy thought" these days is that we only have ONE more of these to take!! Can you see Grant in a cap and gown ... almost?!

My Other Goal ...

Is to work on positive reinforcement with Eliot. I had a "guilty mommy" moment tonight when my extra-tired Eliot (he's been sick, poor thing) wanted to go to bed so badly that he kept pointing to his bed and asking for ... "time out" (we put him in his crib for time out). Sad. :(

Okay other moms, ideas for positive reinforcement with your little ones? I'll prep you right off the bat -- I'm not one for bribes/rewarding with treats. Just looking for ways to focus on the positive and praise my son for the good things instead of saying "no" so much or resorting to "time out" too often (which I didn't think I did, but after tonight, I'm reevaluating...).

My New Mantra

When I went away to school at Ricks College (now BYU-Idaho ... guess that dates me, huh), my older sister, Melissa, who had also gone to school at Ricks, gave me this piece of advice: "Don't wish it away, sis. It goes too fast." I never forgot that advice, and, just as my sister had almost predicted I would, I did find myself wishing my college experience away at times. When I encountered midterms or finals, when I was getting my heart broken by the first "RM" I dated, I started to wish it away. But Melissa's advice would come back to my mind, and I'd try to refocus on the good stuff -- the roommates I loved, the FHE brothers who became great friends, the niche I carved out for myself as a "Scrollie" at the college newspaper. That was a great time of my life, but also as Melissa said it would, it went way too fast.

Just like my mission went too fast. Just like my newlywed days and years working at the MTC went too fast. Just like Eliot's short time as a newborn went too fast. And as much as I tried hard not to do it, at some point or another, I found myself wishing away each of those great times of my life.

Probably because those great times were also hard times. Although in hindsight I wonder how life as a carefree college student was ever "hard," but it was, at the time. When looked at compared to life in law school while starting our family, those early college years may seem like a piece of cake, but at the time, that phase had its own difficult moments. Finals were stressful because my I needed good grades to hang on to my scholarship and hopefully earn a scholarship to BYU so I could finish my Bachelor's Degree. And I'm sure even that "RM" breaking my heart was life-shattering at the time. Which is why I probably wished it was "all over with" so I could move on to the next, "easier" phase.

What I'm learning is that the next phase never gets easier. It's likely equally as hard (or harder!), just in a new and different way. So the trick, just like my sister taught me, is to not wish away the phase you're in. To live in the moment gratefully. To know that you're right where you need to be, when you need to be there. To know that, as a good friend recently taught me, God doesn't give consolation prizes, so there are no "plan B" lives. The life I'm living is exactly what God intended for me -- my "plan A" -- so I can be confident and assured that I'm doing what I need to be doing and gaining the experiences that will prepare me for what's next.

If my rambling is leading me to any point, it's this: though it's going to be hard, my goal for this next new year is to not wish it away. It's going to be hard to do. This is Grant's LAST year. His LAST year of law school! We're so close to done we can almost taste it. We can almost envision the career that's on the horizon, see ourselves moving on from student lifestyle (halelujiah), just moving on period. But, we're not there yet. There's still that one year (plus the Bar ... bleh). And within that year is just what I've been talking about. Being right where we're supposed to be when we're supposed to be here. Gaining the experiences that will prepare us for what's next. So, as much as I'd like it "over with," I'm going to try as hard as ever to not wish away this last year. To live in the moment. To focus on the good stuff. Because I'm guessing, as tired as we are of student living and all that comes with it, one of these days I'm going to be looking back on these years, just like I do with my college years, my mission, our newlywed phase, and when Eliot was a newborn, and realize it went way too fast.

And I'll wish it hadn't. So here's to the good stuff that's happening right here, right now. And what is the good stuff? Living in a gorgeous place where I'm an hour drive away from the ocean, and a half an hour drive away from hiking areas with giant, beautiful evergreens and waterfalls. Living in an easygoing town where we have great parks, a wonderful children's museum, fun restaurants, a beautiful campus, not to mention being an hour away from Portland where there are gardens galore, the biggest bookstore I've ever seen, a beautiful riverfront and again, lots of places to explore and discover. Having a great ward and wonderful friends who have become a vital support system to me while I've been away from home and family. Getting to rely wholly on each other as a family and cling to each other's love and support while we're finishing up this intense period of our lives together, and enjoying the increased love and appreciation for each other that has come as a result of pulling together. Having one-on-one time with my Eliot and getting to enjoy him and all that he's learning and experiencing. The simplicity of a minimized budget, schedule, lifestyle.

That's the good stuff I'm not going to wish away this year.

I Think ...

My niece Madelyn might be the most beautiful and most personality-filled baby girl I've ever seen!

... And I also think by the time I have my next little one I need to get my hands on a sweet camera like Maddy's parents have so I can capture great shots like these.

It's Time ...

... to make this blog private, too. I've been debating for a while, and finally decided it's time. If you'd like to keep reading, let me know by leaving a comment. If I don't already have your e-mail address, please be sure to include it.

I Can't Wait ...

... to get these printed, framed, and hung in my kitchen.

(only minus the "squished" effect from having to edit

the HTML to get them to fit)

Love This

Found this with the heading "The Power of Words" on a friend's blog. Love it. Doesn't it just make you want to write someone a letter or curl up with a good book?

Eliot's "First" Fourth

Even though this was officially Eliot's third 4th of July (he was a newborn in '07 and one in '08), this was the first time he got to experience the full day, start to finish. It started early with meeting me at my 5K in Provo and ended late with the "Cul-de-Sac of Fire" in my in-laws' neighborhood. We packed the day with family, swimming, a BBQ, and fireworks. No wonder Eliot was so zonked after it all ended! He seemed to enjoy himself, especially swimming. He's been a little timid of swimming until now, but after Grant threw him in the air and let him splash down in the water dozens of times, Eliot didn't want to get out, and sobbed when we made him. He kept saying over and over, "Swimmun!" and "Wadder!" My favorite moment? Hearing the "Star Spangled Banner" before our race started and saluting the flag. I got a little choked up and had one of those moments when I felt so grateful to be a citizen of this country and thankful for the many blessings and opportunities I enjoy.

The Freedom Festival runners, 2009 -- my sister Mary, me, and my sisters-in-law Lisa and Tori. We really do like each other, I promise -- we were still a little sweaty from the muggy morning race and didn't want to put our arms around each other!

Me with Eliot, my usual "running buddy." I didn't race with him this year since it ended up being a little stressful last year. This particular race can have about 3,000 runners, so it gets a little crowded and hairy with a stroller. I missed having him with me, though!

Check out my big boy who thinks he needs to eat all by himself at the kids' table now! (Oh, and check out his cross-eyed cousin Katie, too!)

Eliot and his cousin Katie (who he's just a little obsessed with right now!) enjoying their 4th of July hot dogs.

My "All-American" boy!

My brother-in-law Louie, niece Maddy, and sister Mary. The 4th of July weekend was extra special for their family -- Madelyn was blessed by her "Ampy" (my dad) the next day!

Miss Madelyn getting her first taste of the Fourth!

One of my favorite photos of the day -- my little nephew Mikey, whom we've nicknamed "Bruiser" for all of his owies he's been accumulating lately!

Part of the "Cul-de-Sac of Fire" festivities is a cake walk for the kids. Grant couldn't bear the thought of Eliot not participating (there were Hostess products at stake, after all!), so he took him out to walk the walk. Cute, huh!

Grant with the littlest of the kids at the cake walk. The fabulous paint job on the ground was provided by James Christensen, my in-laws' neighbor who's also a quite famous painter. He and his daughter spent days before the 4th using large wooden stencils to paint the stars. It looked great!

Again, Grant with the younger kiddos. As you can tell, Eliot was cooperating fabulously.

The triumphant cousins, Alex, Scottie, Katie, and Nate, who, unlike their younger counterparts, actually won goodies at the cake walk. Their stash? Hostess cakes. And what is more American than a Twinkie, anyway?

Grant with Eliot and Michael (Eliot's "twin" cousin) after the cake walk. They came so close plenty of times, but never won a treat! We're pretty sure Grant was a lot more disappointed than the two boys, though! Every time they called a number other than theirs, it was so sad to see Grant's reaction!

This year the performing group at "Cul-de-Sac of Fire" was "The Bonus Brothers," not to be confused with "The Jonas Brothers" playing down the road at the "real" Stadium of Fire. From what our family members who attended the Stadium (vs. the Cul-de-Sac) of Fire tell us, we were better off with the lip-sync version (sorry to offend any fans).

As a surprise grand finale, however, we did enjoy the musical entertainment of Carmen Rasmussen, a former American Idol finalist (yes, the real deal!). She is apparently married to the son of Gary Herbert, Utah's newly appointed governor, who also made an appearance at Cul-de-Sac of fire. When he showed up in his motorcade, with lights flashing and sirens wailing, my nephew Alex put his hands in the air and said, "I'm innocent!"

And of course, what would the 4th be without fireworks, not to mention a little Neil Diamond?!

This picture doesn't capture Eliot's reaction to the fireworks, which he got to see for the first time this Fourth of July. This was the best I could do without annoying everyone with my flash, but the wonder on his face was my favorite part of the day.