It's Time ...

... to make this blog private, too. I've been debating for a while, and finally decided it's time. If you'd like to keep reading, let me know by leaving a comment. If I don't already have your e-mail address, please be sure to include it.

I Can't Wait ...

... to get these printed, framed, and hung in my kitchen.

(only minus the "squished" effect from having to edit

the HTML to get them to fit)

Love This

Found this with the heading "The Power of Words" on a friend's blog. Love it. Doesn't it just make you want to write someone a letter or curl up with a good book?

Eliot's "First" Fourth

Even though this was officially Eliot's third 4th of July (he was a newborn in '07 and one in '08), this was the first time he got to experience the full day, start to finish. It started early with meeting me at my 5K in Provo and ended late with the "Cul-de-Sac of Fire" in my in-laws' neighborhood. We packed the day with family, swimming, a BBQ, and fireworks. No wonder Eliot was so zonked after it all ended! He seemed to enjoy himself, especially swimming. He's been a little timid of swimming until now, but after Grant threw him in the air and let him splash down in the water dozens of times, Eliot didn't want to get out, and sobbed when we made him. He kept saying over and over, "Swimmun!" and "Wadder!" My favorite moment? Hearing the "Star Spangled Banner" before our race started and saluting the flag. I got a little choked up and had one of those moments when I felt so grateful to be a citizen of this country and thankful for the many blessings and opportunities I enjoy.

The Freedom Festival runners, 2009 -- my sister Mary, me, and my sisters-in-law Lisa and Tori. We really do like each other, I promise -- we were still a little sweaty from the muggy morning race and didn't want to put our arms around each other!

Me with Eliot, my usual "running buddy." I didn't race with him this year since it ended up being a little stressful last year. This particular race can have about 3,000 runners, so it gets a little crowded and hairy with a stroller. I missed having him with me, though!

Check out my big boy who thinks he needs to eat all by himself at the kids' table now! (Oh, and check out his cross-eyed cousin Katie, too!)

Eliot and his cousin Katie (who he's just a little obsessed with right now!) enjoying their 4th of July hot dogs.

My "All-American" boy!

My brother-in-law Louie, niece Maddy, and sister Mary. The 4th of July weekend was extra special for their family -- Madelyn was blessed by her "Ampy" (my dad) the next day!

Miss Madelyn getting her first taste of the Fourth!

One of my favorite photos of the day -- my little nephew Mikey, whom we've nicknamed "Bruiser" for all of his owies he's been accumulating lately!

Part of the "Cul-de-Sac of Fire" festivities is a cake walk for the kids. Grant couldn't bear the thought of Eliot not participating (there were Hostess products at stake, after all!), so he took him out to walk the walk. Cute, huh!

Grant with the littlest of the kids at the cake walk. The fabulous paint job on the ground was provided by James Christensen, my in-laws' neighbor who's also a quite famous painter. He and his daughter spent days before the 4th using large wooden stencils to paint the stars. It looked great!

Again, Grant with the younger kiddos. As you can tell, Eliot was cooperating fabulously.

The triumphant cousins, Alex, Scottie, Katie, and Nate, who, unlike their younger counterparts, actually won goodies at the cake walk. Their stash? Hostess cakes. And what is more American than a Twinkie, anyway?

Grant with Eliot and Michael (Eliot's "twin" cousin) after the cake walk. They came so close plenty of times, but never won a treat! We're pretty sure Grant was a lot more disappointed than the two boys, though! Every time they called a number other than theirs, it was so sad to see Grant's reaction!

This year the performing group at "Cul-de-Sac of Fire" was "The Bonus Brothers," not to be confused with "The Jonas Brothers" playing down the road at the "real" Stadium of Fire. From what our family members who attended the Stadium (vs. the Cul-de-Sac) of Fire tell us, we were better off with the lip-sync version (sorry to offend any fans).

As a surprise grand finale, however, we did enjoy the musical entertainment of Carmen Rasmussen, a former American Idol finalist (yes, the real deal!). She is apparently married to the son of Gary Herbert, Utah's newly appointed governor, who also made an appearance at Cul-de-Sac of fire. When he showed up in his motorcade, with lights flashing and sirens wailing, my nephew Alex put his hands in the air and said, "I'm innocent!"

And of course, what would the 4th be without fireworks, not to mention a little Neil Diamond?!

This picture doesn't capture Eliot's reaction to the fireworks, which he got to see for the first time this Fourth of July. This was the best I could do without annoying everyone with my flash, but the wonder on his face was my favorite part of the day.

If Only Every Weekday Could Be This Fun ...

A couple weeks ago we got to enjoy a mid-week getaway to Midway and Park City. For Grant's birthday, his sister generously gave him some coupons she had gotten from work for a getaway to a resort in Midway. Since we had just been to Park City and couldn't afford to do another overnight trip, we decided to let my sister Lauren and her husband, Bryan, take advantage of the deals, since they weren't able to have much of a honeymoon a couple years ago and are expecting their first at the end of July. The only condition was that we wanted to meet them for golf and shopping. When my dad found out about the plans, he wanted "in," too, since the Homestead Golf Resort, one of his favorite haunts, is just across the street from where they stayed. So we all went together and had a wonderfully relaxing ... Wednesday! Grant took the afternoon off, and we went up the canyon and enjoyed a great day of fabulous food, some of our favorite pastimes, and most of all the great company of my parents, sister, and her husband!

Me, Eliot, and Grant at the golf course cafe at The Homestead resort in Midway. What a great place for lunch -- beautiful view of the greens, delicious sandwiches and salads, and our table was right next to the Coy pond, where Eliot had a great view of the fish and ducks! Perfect! We could get used to this kind of life!

Bryan and Lauren (and baby Collin, due at the end of July!)

My mom and dad. After lunch it was off to the golf course for the boys and off to Park City for some outlet shopping for the girls. Could the day get any better?

After a "grueling" day of shopping and golf, we went to dinner at the Mountain House Grill in Midway, a place Grant and I discovered on anniversary trip of our own. It did not disappoint, especially since the boys were able to take advantage of the Prime Rib special!

Eliot couldn't get enough of the house specialty -- raspberry lemonade in a sugar-rimmed "glass" (more like pitcher -- at least there was plenty for sharing!).

All of us in front of the restaurant. I'm amazed that Eliot's actually smiling in this. If figures that setting the camera on a timer is more effective than making silly faces and trying to get a good shot.

"Peppy" (as Eliot calls him) and his "Tater Boy" (as my dad calls Eliot). In the background is a building with some of the Swiss architecture that Midway is known for.

The girls -- my sister Lauren, me, and my mom.

And of course the Golfing Guys, Bryan, Grant, and Dad, each claiming to be #1.

"Please Bless the Dickinsons While They're Broke"

Grant and I feel like "grown-ups" again ... at least sort of. Even though we're still "basement dwellers" (the term lovingly given by members of my in-laws' ward to the dozen or so young families living with parents), we at least have our own home teachers assigned to us. It makes us feel, as Grant put it best, "more like adults and less like ... kids."

Our home teacher and his son visited us last night, and they are wonderful. Salt of the earth, kind, sincere people. The father took the time to ask lots of questions about us, our current situation, and really got to know us, and then presented a short but very spiritual lesson based on this month's First Presidency Message. June's message, if you haven't received it or read it yet, is by President Uchtdorf, and is on the topic of prayer. It's truly wonderful (and short!), so take the time to read it if you haven't already.

The real highlight of the evening was when the 12-year-old son, who was just filling in for his older brother as his dad's companion for the night, said the closing prayer. In his prayer, he thanked Heavenly Father for the opportunity to visit with our family, and prayed, "Please bless the Dickinsons while they're broke, that they can have success and find some money." Grant and I couldn't help but smile, not to mention added big fat "Amens" to that prayer (how could we not, after such a sincere petition to help us please find some money?!), yet we were touched by the young man's sensitivity to our family and our needs and the frank manner in which he prayed. Apparently he had assumed from the conversation that we weren't in the best of financial circumstances right now (which, let's be honest, is pretty much true). Maybe in our getting to know each other we joked around a bit too much about being "basement dwellers" and mooching off our parents for the summer until we return in the fall to be "responsible adults" again. After his prayer I felt the need to reassure him that we really are fine (thanks to our parents letting us mooch off them), but I let it go, mostly because I didn't want to embarrass him.

But perhaps he's is on to something. Maybe my prayers should be more like that humble young man's (who, as his dad explained, knows a bit about being "broke," since their family has been without employment since January). Maybe I should be a little more up front with my Heavenly Father and call our situation what it is and ask for His help (which we do need rather desperately), rather than being the typically prideful person that I am and pretend like I've got everything "under control." The truth is, we are "broke," and who knows how long our season of being so will last. If I know that, and Heavenly Father knows that, why not tell Him my concerns and ask for His help instead of poring over spreadsheets and bank statements for hours on end wondering how on earth we're going to get through the next year (and beyond)? Maybe doing all we can on our end and then turning things over to the Lord, with the simplicity of faith demonstrated by our 12-year-old home teacher, is exactly how we'll get through this next year.

How interesting that we had just received a lesson about prayer that was based on a beautiful and poignant message by one of the highest leaders of the Church, and yet the real message learned that night was given by a somewhat awkward, but very humble and sensitive 12-year-old boy.

What a Wonderful World

There are many things to post about, since Eliot's second birthday is this week, and we celebrated with family over the weekend. Look for posts on Eliot's and my blogs soon to read up on our rained-out zoo adventure and the "Noah's Ark" birthday party for Eliot and his "twin" cousin Michael. We had a great time and got some great pictures of the events. But until I get pictures collected from the several photographers, choose which ones to upload, and get those posts put together, you'll have to settle for a "boring" post for now.

Do you ever have moments that catch you by surprise, when you're just filled with emotion that literally comes out of nowhere, when you feel full of the spirit, when you feel so grateful that there are no words, when the prayer you hadn't prayed for is answered, when you're caught off guard by the peace you feel when you weren't even necessarily looking for it? Let me explain by telling you about that kind of moment I had yesterday.

We were at stake conference, which is a bit of a dreaded event for us. Please don't judge my lack of enthusiasm for a normally great, spiritually uplifting meeting. But two-year-olds and two-hour-long church meetings are not a good mix, especially considering that Eliot's now used to nursery, where he can play and blow off some energy after a squirmy hour in sacrament meeting. We just did our best to pack a "super bag"," sat in the back near a door, held our breath and waited to see how things went. I'm pretty sure it is these kind of events that inspired the phrase, "Hope for the best, prepare for the worst." Much like all the other "dreaded" events in our life -- long car rides, plane trips, doctor appointments, etc. -- Eliot did much better than expected. Sure, we had a couple crayon catastrophes, Grant had to take him out once when things got too intense (at about the hour and 10 minute mark his built-in sacrament meeting alarm clock started going off), Eliot stuffed himself sick on animal crackers, but overall, I was pleased with how well he did.

Still, considering that I was in Mommy survival mode and not spiritually reflective mode, I was surprised by the spiritually powerful moment that struck me out of nowhere. We stood to sing an intermediate hymn, "We Thank Thee, O God, for a Prophet," and halfway through the second verse, tears started creeping out of my eyes as we sang, "When dark clouds of trouble hang o'er us, and threaten our peace to destroy, There is hope smiling brightly before us, and we know that deliverance is nigh." I guess I shouldn't have been totally surprised that I was touched by those words; I have gained a greater appreciation for that verse and other comforting hymns and scriptures over the last couple of years as my family has experienced a trial that has wrenched our souls and has left us feeling like "darks clouds of trouble" are settled in above us to stay. Those of you close to me and that situation know that things have gotten progressively worse, not better, that this dilemma has been the trigger of the depression I have been battling with, that it is the source of a deep heartache in my life, one that is causing my family, my parents in particular, devastating anguish.

All of that said, my motto for this summer has been "Let it roll off my back," particularly with regard to my family trials. In this particular situation, there is nothing, or very little at best, that anyone can do, and in order to preserve my health and happiness, I've determined I am not going to focus my energy on that anymore. So I haven't. And you know what, it has worked. A family therapist (which I admit openly I could probably benefit from seeing) might tell me I'm avoiding (or better yet "repressing") my emotions, but letting things roll off my back, probably in combination with Grant being out of school for the summer, having some Utah sunshine, and running regularly, have helped me feel pretty good these days. Which is why I was surprised to be so affected by the hymn we were singing at stake conference. If I had been praying fervently or fasting or beating on heaven's doors for a sense of peace, I might have expected such a tender heavenly communication, but I wasn't. Like I said, I've been feeling pretty okay about things (as "okay" as anyone can feel under the circumstances), and as far as what I expected to get out of stake conference, I was just happy to get out of there alive with my two year old.

Which is maybe even greater evidence of Heavenly Father's love. He sent me a loving message even when I didn't "need" it. How appropriate that on Father's Day I was able to hear from my Heavenly Father a message that reached my heart, gave me hope and encouragement, and surprised me by its sweetness and its ability to pierce through the whirling distractions of being a young mother. I think what caused the tears was the intensity of the peace and love that I felt. I wasn't crying because I was upset about my family's situation, I was crying because I felt a great deal of hope, something that has been largely absent in my life for over two years. I felt that there truly is "hope smiling brightly before us" -- for me and my family -- regardless of outcome. In that moment it didn't matter that my family's difficulties may not resolve themselves in the next few years, decades, or even in this lifetime. I felt the assurance that Heavenly Father is very much aware of what is going on, and He has promised that "deliverance is nigh" -- whatever that may be and whenever that may come.

That sense of encouragement and peace carries over into my little immediate family's circumstances, too. As Grant approaches his last year of law school and as he takes more and more steps toward beginning his career, I feel like the "end" of this very intense time of our lives is actually coming, that there is much ahead for us, that we will be able to look back in awe of what we were able to endure and how we were able to make ends meet, and that it will all "come to pass." We will be okay. Maybe not all, but many, of our circumstances will improve. And even if things get harder before they get better, I know we have so much to live for and hope for, and be happy for.

As I have been reflecting on my little Eliot lately in anticipation of his second birthday, I can't help but think that he is the epitome of the "hope smiling brightly before us." We waited a long time for the timing to be right to welcome Eliot into our family, and in hindsight, I don't think his timing could have been any more perfect. He arrived just as things were most difficult for me and Grant and for my extended family. And yet he and his little cousin, born within an hour of each other, have been little rays of sunshine, providing hope and comfort and laughter during our darkest hours. He is one of my greatest sources of hope. When I see my son, I see all of his divine potential -- I see him following in his daddy's footsteps and becoming a tender and kind man, a worthy and righteous priesthood holder, a humble and energetic missionary, a gentle husband, father, and friend. Because of him and other sweet boys (and girls!) like him, the world is and will be a much better place. There is hope for our future because of sweet children like my little Eliot. That is something to hope for.

So today when I opened up my blog and heard Louis Armstrong singing, "I hear babies cry, I watch them grow. They'll learn much more than we'll ever know. And I think to myself, 'What a wonderful world,'" all I could think was, "Amen." What a wonderful world.

Cooking Lessons

Eliot helped me make Snickerdoodles this afternoon.  He loved it, and I loved watching him!  I thought he would like rolling the balls of dough in the cinnamon sugar; but in true boy fashion, he just wanted to smash them in the mixture and then throw the dough on the pans.  Needless to say, some of the cookies had some extra Eliot TLC and a bit more character than the others.  I'm so grateful that my sister-in-law Gaylyn caught some of the priceless moments on camera.  There are so many times I'm alone with Eliot and would love to capture us in the moment so I can make it last, but there's no one around, let alone with a camera!  These images are ones I'll love forever.

As always, sorry for the sideways video!  One of these days we'll get it!  And you may have to play the video a few times to catch Eliot's fast-action tossing of the dough -- he's quick!

June is My Month

I told myself I wasn't going to do it again.  I promised myself I wasn't going to waste away my first month back in Utah like I did last year.  We got home last summer, and I crashed out for a month. A day or two, definitely understandable, maybe even a week -- surviving a year of law school and another round of finals, packing, moving, it's tiring stuff, after all.  But a month?! C'mon Monica, get it in gear!  

May wasn't a total wash.  I started up running and ran six days a week most weeks.  So that I'm proud of.  But sleeping in until Eliot gets up every single morning, not showering until mid-day, totally blowing off Eliot's nap time to just goof off on Facebook or whatever -- I've got to take more advantage of my relaxed summer schedule!  I've got too much I want to get done!

So, because accountability works well with me (I get embarrassed if I don't do what I say I'm going to do), I'm accounting to you, you poor readers who stumbled upon this post.  Not expecting you to follow up with me (though that might help!), but just humor me and "read" me out so I can account to you and change something in me psychologically so I will start dragging myself out of bed to get to the gym in the morning, so I'll finally organize my photos and get scrapbooking, so I'll finally have my mother-in-law help me through my crochet phobias and learn how to make burp cloths and receiving blankets ... just a few of the many goals I want to get cracking on starting this month!

June is my month (originally it was January, then February ... you get the point).  But I'm serious this time (I'm telling you, aren't I?!).  Here's some of what I want to make happen in June(and don't mind me writing to myself for a minute):

• Do more than roll over and turn off the alarm when it sounds at o'dark-thirty and get to the gym.  Spinning is calling.  The gym is a one-minute drive away.  It is not cold outside. You do not have to scrape off your windshield or shiver.  Grant will go if you do, and if he gets up and goes, you owe it to him to go, too.  You paid for the gym pass.  Your arms and tummy (and a couple other places, for that matter) are a little more jiggly than you'd like.   It's swimsuit season -- 'nuff said.
• Get those photos ordered, labeled, and organized, and get scrapbooking, girl!  You'll forget dates, details, etc. if you don't get crackin'.   You have access to your mother-in-law's amazing craft room and all of the punches, stamps, and ink pads you could ever hope to use.  You no longer have a huge house to scrub during Eliot's nap, so carpe diem!  Schedule a couple of "midnight madness" scrapping nights with the girls and get scrappin!  (P.S. Random sidenote, I saw a bumper sticker for a scrapbooking company here in Orem/Provo, and it's literally called "Holy Scrap!"  I died laughing but shook my head at the same time when I saw it.  There are some things you'd find only in Utah ... and that's one of them for sure!).
• Pull out the hooks, thread, and material, and get crocheting.  Forget that it was a little frustrating last summer.  Have some bonding time with Grant's mom and learn from the expert.  You'll be so glad you took advantage of the time you lived with her and learned how to make her gorgeous baby burp cloths and receiving blankets.  You will love being able to make them for your own children and having a really special gift you can give to loved ones.
• How 'bout chipping away at your to-read list?  Your stack is not getting any smaller; in fact, it's growing!  Start by finishing last summer's read, Count of Monte Cristo; yes, it's a beast, but you love it.  Buy the Cliff's notes if you need a refresher on who's who, and set aside some of that precious nap time or when Grant plays late-night basketball at the old ward in Provo, and lose yourself in a good book.  Then finish Elder Wirthlin's book once and for all ... and move on!  What will it be next?  The Goose Girl?  Ten Thousand Splendid Suns?  Poisonwood Bible?  
• Meaningful FHEs with my boys.  Grant doesn't have a night class on Mondays anymore. You can go up the canyon for a walk, write letters and put together a care package for Elder Brock, go swimming at the Rec Center, have a special lesson with either set of Eliot's grandparents ... something is better than nothing (which is what we've been doing!).

Okay, I think that's plenty.  Like I said, no need to follow up.  I feel better just getting that off my chest.  That way, when my alarm goes off tomorrow morning, I'll think to myself, "Oh, but I posted about this ... I promised I'd get up!"

Park City Getaway

Grant and I were brave parents this past weekend and left Eliot overnight for the first time since he was born ... almost two years ago! We were long overdue for a getaway with just the two of us, and it was relaxing and fun and romantic ... just what we needed!  We stayed in an awesome condo at the base of one of the ski resorts.  We ate out and had some amazing barbecue at a place on Main Street, we shopped the incredible Memorial Day Weekend deals at the outlets (My most amazing find?  A fantastic pair of black dress pants from Gap for $2.12!!!  Yes -- $2.12!!  They were marked down to $6.99, and I had a $5.00 coupon.  I was and am so proud of myself for that one!), we also saw the new Night at the Museum, which was very fun, especially since the theater was filled with families, and it was really fun to hear the kids' reactions.  We went for walks and cooked up yummy breakfasts in the condo, celebrated Grant's birthday by indulging in way too much macadamia-nut toffee from the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory (is it embarrassing that the same guy rang us up both times we went in and ordered the same thing?!) ... which all added up to a perfect weekend!  We did miss our Moose and were happy to hear that he had a wonderful weekend himself, getting to stay up late and eat pizza and ice cream, he got to visit his cousin Cole and ride in Grandpa's truck while watching "Eddie" on the fancy DVD player (now he thinks he needs to ride in the "tuck" and watch Eddie wherever he goes!), he got out of naps, and even to take his Aunt Gaylyn's dog on a walk ... we're pretty sure he hardly missed us at all!   Here are some of the highlights of our weekend:

Grant says this picture was just awkward to take, so sorry if we look a little goofy and are laughing in this picture, but it's a good representation of our time spent together.  So many times throughout the weekend Grant would say random little things, not trying to be funny, that would just crack me up.

Cozy!  So nice to get to have one-on-one time with Grant!  I just love being with him.  

The condo we stayed in, which was newly renovated and pretty plush ...and cost less than the chain hotel we stayed in in Boise on our trip back from Oregon!  Thank you, Craig's List!

Because you needed to see what our bathroom looked like.  Sorry, it's a habit of mine to document the places we stay ... to give me ideas for our house someday, maybe? I'm not really sure, but I just like to remember ...

I dream of owning a king-sized bed like this someday!

Grant on the condo balcony, which overlooked the base of one of the ski resorts.

And here's me, feeling fabulous in my new purple top, one of my great finds at the outlets.

I love this picture even though it's blurry and I look kind of crusty since my watery allergy eyes had cried off most of my makeup by this point.

This is us indulging in the amazing, awful-for-us macadamia toffee.  Worth every penny of its $19.95/lb. pricetag!  (No, we did not buy a whole pound, or even close ...)

And why not?  You definitely see things in Park City that you just don't see every day.  Like this "blinged-up" pug statue outside of a pet pampering store.  Grant insisted on puckering up for this photo op ... or I might have made him.

Getting to Know the Birthday Boy: 29 Things You May or May not Know about Grant

It's Grant's birthday on Saturday.  He'll be 29 this year.  That's one year away from a pretty big one -- turning 30 and graduating law school all in the same month!  That will be one big party that we are very much looking forward to. This year we're celebrating by taking a weekend trip to Park City, just the two of us.  It will be the first time we've left Eliot overnight; I'll let you know how that goes.  I'm sure Eliot will be in Grandma heaven, and we'll be paranoid parents.

In celebration of Grant turning 29, here are 29 tidbits of information you might or might not know about him:

1.  His favorite color is gray.

2.  His favorite band is Counting Crows.  

3.  His favorite TV shows are Boston Legal, Lost, The Office, and Jeopardy.

4.  Grant could live on ice cream.  One of the major adjustments Grant had to make when we were first married was that there was not always ice cream (at least three flavors) in the freezer, and we did not have a mounded bowl every night like he was used to at home (sorry, hon, not everyone was blessed with your metabolism).

5.  Grant runs circles around me in Spanish.  Not only does he talk super fast, but he's got a pretty thick accent (Guatemalan turned Mexican, thanks to his mission and then friends he's met since), and, unlike me, mastered it so well he can tell jokes and do plays on words.

6.  Grant and I met in high school working at a local grocery store.  I thought he was cute but a smart-alec right off the bat.  He liked another girl and supposedly thought I was out of his league.  Long story short, we "dated" a bit in high school, I went away to college (I'm a year older than him), we both dated other people, both served missions, but in the long run ended up together.  If you didn't see them already on my Valentine's post, you should check out our Sadie Hawkins and Prom pictures.  Priceless.  We both had some pretty killer hair.

7.  Grant holds his own in the kitchen.  When he was little, he wanted to be a professional chef until his grandma told him it was a "girl's job" and squelched his dreams.  Some of his specialties: marinated chicken quesadillas, sheet cake cream puffs, chicken parmesan, and roasted lemon-rosemary chicken.

8.  He's quite the handy man when it comes to electronics, computers, and sprinkler systems.  Oh, and he can fix a toilet with a paper clip like a pro.

9.  Though he loves to play basketball and actively supports "ward ball," Grant never played high school or college basketball, which may surprise you because of his 6'5" stature.

10.  Grant's favorite place in the world is Disneyland.  When I asked him where he'd like to vacation after he finished law school and the bar, without hesitation he chose Disneyland.  I was thinking something more relaxing like Hawaii or renting a place on the coast ...

11.  Grant's favorite places to eat:  Chef's Table in Orem, The Blue Iguana in Salt Lake (mostly for their mariachi), Cafe El Salvador in Provo because they sell "popusas" (sp?), a dish he loved when he was in Guatemala, Best Little Roadhouse in Salem, and Carl's Junior (anywhere!) is always a safe bet with him.

12.  Grant's a fussy dresser.  I stopped buying clothes for him after our first Christmas when I struck out with my choices (one shirt was too "cowboy," another was ribbed and a big "no no" with Grant).  Who knew my generally easy-to-please husband would be so picky about what he wears?

13.  A perfect day for Grant would probably involve golfing, waverunning and/or waterskiing at the lake, a barbecue and board games with family, and maybe a special night out with me?

14.  Grant didn't always want to be a lawyer.  Besides his childhood dreams of becoming a chef, Grant was pretty serious about pursuing a job in law enforcement or something related to Criminal Justice (his undergrad degree).  It wasn't until near the end of his mission that he felt very prompted to pursue the field of law.  And here we are ... almost done with his J.D.!

15.  Grant's eyes are hazel, and so are mine.  So how did we end up with a blue-eyed child?!

16.  Grant underwent major surgery when he was a Senior in high school to remove a non-malignant tumor in his left cheek.  It was a pretty intense surgery that involved removing a rib to use in rebuilding his cheekbone, as well as popping his eye out of his socket (sorry if that's gross).  If you look closely you can tell that his eyes are a little uneven, but otherwise, you might never know. We're just grateful that as of his most recent appointment last summer, Grant's still not suffering any major effects and hopefully won't need any follow-up surgeries anytime soon.

17.  Grant used to work as a landscaper and knows quite a bit about sprinkler installation, a skill we're hoping will save us some money someday.

18.  A few years back you might have seen Grant in a bright orange vest cleaning up trash on the side of the freeway.  No, he wasn't "serving time," but was supervising work crews of juvenile offenders who were!  He actually really enjoyed that job and gained valuable skills like how to most effectively remove graffiti.

19.  Grant is a certified Mediator.  One of the things Grant became very skilled at during his undergrad was mediation, and he used to help with parent-teen mediations held at the BYU law school.  He was also the student Ombudsman of UVSC, a job in which he mediated disputes between students and landlords, coaches, professors, etc.  He loved it, and it's a skill he'll definitely put to good use in his career.

20.  Grant is one proud daddy of his little boy.  The day we found out Eliot was going to be a boy, Grant had an ear-to-ear smile that lasted the rest of the evening.

21.  Grant loves playing board games, but watch out, he's an ogre when it comes to rules!  Some of his favorites are Cranium, Settlers of Catan, Ticket to Ride, and Catch Phrase.

22.  Grant has 5 sisters, no brothers.  I also have 5 sisters, no brothers.  You should have seen the lineup of bridesmaids at our wedding!

23.  Grant's dream car is a Corvette, though we've both agreed we could never bring ourselves to buy an extravagant car.  He says he'll settle for an Audi.

24.  Grant's a Discovery Channel junkie.  Cash Cab, Deadliest Catch, you name it, he loves it.

25.  Grant is a perfect gentleman.  When we were first dating in high school, I used to have to get etiquette tips from him because he seriously knew everything.  I love that he still opens doors for me and is always an example of courtesy.

26.  Grant's favorite treats are peanut butter M&Ms, Dr. Pepper, and anything pastry-related.

27.  Grant's first name is Dennis, after his dad, and Eliot's first name is also Dennis.  It's a wonderful tradition, except when it comes to mail, movie rental accounts, etc. More than once Grant and his dad have pawned off their late fees on the other person -- the stinkers!

28.  Grant is easy to please when it comes to gift-giving (except for clothes, of course!). He is genuinely excited about most anything he receives, which makes him not only easy to shop for, but I really admire his sincere gratitude.

29.  Grant is my favorite person in the world.  He has been my best friend for 12 years, and I can't imagine my life without him.  I love his sense of humor, his easy-going personality, his friendliness and optimism, his work ethic, his determination and perseverance, his loyalty to family ... I could go on and on!  Obviously I think he's wonderful, and I hope he has a wonderful 29th birthday.

Happy Birthday, Grant!

Mother Hearts

One of the most tender messages I have ever heard given about motherhood was given by Sister Julie B. Beck, who was at the time a counselor in the general Young Women's presidency of my church. She is now the general Relief Society President of the Church, the organization which I belong to and serve in at a local level. The talk Sister Beck gave years ago, "A Mother Heart," rings in my ears as one of the truest, purest declarations of motherhood that has been shared in our time. That phrase -- "a mother heart" -- is now the phrase and almost an image that comes to mind as I am influenced by remarkable women who are involved in the great and eternal work of mothering.

My own mother, my sweet "Lil," is unquestionably at the top of my list when I think of women who possess a "mother heart." If you have not met my mother, I don't know that I can possibly describe her to you in a way that would communicate all that she is and does. I hope everyone feels that way about their mother, or at least someone who has been a mother figure in their life. My mom is the kindest, most giving, most unselfish, most pure-hearted angel that I believe walks the earth. For barely reaching five feet in stature, she has a powerful presence that is quiet yet unmistakable. It's not that my mom is assertive or dynamic or commands attention; in fact, I think Lil's greatest strength comes from the fact that she is so understated and sweet and humble. I am inspired by her ability to relate with and communicate love to anyone, but particularly with children. It is especially endearing to me to see my own son relate to my mother. There is a very tender and real relationship there. Eliot is genuinely excited to see her and to be in her presence. Lil's secret? Love. Pure, undeniable, genuine love. Which is probably what having a "mother heart" is all about -- possessing that kind of love.

While I am not one for public "shout outs" or glorifying (or for that matter, embarrassing) friends, I don't think I could blog about the topic of motherhood without recognizing two amazing women who have blessed my life over the past year through the greatness of their "mother hearts." Both of these women have endured great heartache and worry this past year as they have bravely faced great challenges in their roles as mothers. And each has done so with faith and perseverance in a way that has changed me, a simple bystander, forever. My own mother heart swells with love and admiration for these sweet moms.


This is my friend Mary and her son Max. You wouldn't know it to look at him, the healthy, feisty little one that he is (maybe not so feisty in this picture, but trust me, he is!), but Max underwent open heart surgery, not once, but twice, by the time he was four months old. He is, as Mary puts it best, one tough little fighter. But of course he is; he gets that from his parents, including his sweet mommy, who, despite many great obstacles piled on her plate at the same time, helped Max through his challenges with faith and hope and optimism. Mary's "mother heart" pounds with courage, cheerfulness, and faith in better, brighter days. In the midst of her darkest hours, she was always thinking of others, constantly aware of others' burdens and seeking to help and lift and lighten. When Mary learned of Max's heart condition at her 20-week ultrasound last September, Mary became the world's most diligent biology and anatomy student, and studied and learned all that she could so that she could understand the doctors and surgeons who would help Max. She then selflessly "translated" all that jargon into every-day terminology on Max's blog so that friends and family could also understand what was happening to little Max. And when Max was born Mary lovingly cared for him and her little Morgen, who's just a little bit older than Eliot, even though that meant long days inside, often alone, since Mary's husband Spencer was studying for the Bar exam, and all of that on little to no sleep. And when Max's condition took some unexpected turns and Spencer and Mary ended up preparing their infant son for surgery much sooner than expected, they cheerfully submitted and worked through those long, uncertain hours with great optimism and patience. I will never forget the day I visited Mary in the hospital before Max's first surgery. Though Spencer was down to his last few weeks before taking the Bar (which, if you're not familiar with the process, means hard-core pressure), you'd never know that they were facing such immense stress. They were happy and positive. They were thoughtful and gracious. Months later, Max has received his second surgery and is recovering well, thanks in large part to his mommy, whose tremendous mother heart was prepared long before this life to care for her little son, Max, with a mighty heart of his own. And watching them through this time of great worry and concern has blessed my heart forever. My heart has been softened and strengthened and has become more tender as I have watched my friend Mary and the power of her mother heart.


Then there's my dear friend, Misty. Misty is the mother of four beautiful, personality-filled children: Hannah, Ian, Olivia, and Isaac. Misty's mother heart, which is as devoted and wrapped up in motherhood as they come, bears the special burden of only getting to mother three of these little sweethearts in this life. Just a little over an hour after Isaac was born on April 8, 2009, he returned back to his Father in Heaven, and Misty made the ultimate sacrifice that any mother could make: she gave up her child. Misty knew early in her pregnancy that that day would come. Doctors quickly recognized at Misty's 20-week ultrasound that Isaac suffered from a condition called Anencephaly, a condition which is completely fatal. Misty courageously opted to carry Isaac full-term, despite his condition. In the last several weeks of her pregnancy, she, if you can imagine, made burial arrangements instead of preparing a nursery. She bought clothes and blankets in which she would bury her son instead of hold and rock him in. I sobbed as I read on her blog and talked with her on the phone as she recounted to me that she would often have to leave a store because she'd see an adorable outfit for a baby boy and then realize she didn't need to buy it, and would almost break down right in the store. Though I can never fully comprehend her pain, I agonized with Misty as she told me about her husband taking the crib down shortly after they received the news about Isaac's condition, and my heart broke when Misty told me that she realized one night as she was bathing her children that she could cross "baby shampoo" off her grocery list. I wept as I attended sweet Isaac's funeral and saw Misty cradle and kiss her baby for the final time in this life. The victory of Misty's mother heart, to me at least, is that Misty goes on to mother and love her children -- all four of them -- despite the fact that her heart was shattered by this life-changing experience. She is gradually and slowly putting those pieces of her mother heart back together and trying to find how to go on in her new "normal." The great miracle of it all has been to witness her unwavering faith in God. Rightfully so, Misty has felt anger, sorrow, grief, devastation, loss, and so many other feelings, but more often than not I have marveled at her blog posts in which she has declared over and over that "God is good" and has witnessed again and again that she knows she would make it through, that her son is perfect, and that she will see him again. Misty's mother heart beats with an unmatched will to survive, to move forward, to continue mothering, to keep trying. She does it with a sense of humor, with realism that is endearing, with strength that is unparalleled.

Sorry to tug at your heartstrings or even make you cry. But as tender as these examples of motherhood are, they are also very much real, and they have served as strengthening agents in my life. I guess you could even say that they have changed my own heart. I can't say that I am noticeably more patient with Eliot day in and day out as a result of seeing my friends -- these sweet examples of motherhood -- face great challenges in their own mothering, but I do believe that I have a greater resolution in my own "mother heart" -- as faintly as it may beat sometimes -- to cherish my son a little more, to be a little more gentle and kind, to be grateful for his messes, tears, mischief, and yes, even tantrums. I am trying to be a little more humble and less judgmental in my approach to mothering in general. I am trying to support all women a little more -- since, as Sister Beck so wisely points out, "some of the truest mother hearts beat in the breasts of women who will not rear their own children in this life" -- because I've learned that you just never know what someone else is going through, what pains or aches they may carry in their mother heart.

Perhaps the best parting thought I could add is this quote from another favorite address on the topic of motherhood, this time given by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles (And watch for his reference to hearts): "May I say to mothers collectively, in the name of the Lord, you are magnificent. You are doing terrifically well. The very fact that you have been given such a responsibility is everlasting evidence of the trust your Father in Heaven has in you. He knows that your giving birth to a child does not immediately propel you into the circle of the omniscient. If you and your husband will strive to love God and live the gospel yourselves; if you will plead for that guidance and comfort of the Holy Spirit promised to the faithful; if you will go to the temple to both make and claim the promises of the most sacred covenants a woman or man can make in this world; if you will show others, including your children, the same caring, compassionate, forgiving heart you want heaven to show you; if you try your best to be the best parent you can be, you will have done all that a human being can do and all that God expects you to do" (Because She Is a Mother," Ensign, May 1997, 35).