A couple Sundays ago, I watched the most beautiful broadcast of Music and the Spoken Word I have ever seen. It was dedicated to the victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting and featured children's music and songs of peace and comfort. Apparently, one of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir's conductors, Ryan Murphy, grew up in Newtown Connecticut and attended Sandy Hook as a child. It was such a meaningful, spirit-filled broadcast. The images shown as the choir sang were mostly of children and families, and the spirit of innocence and deep regard for children was so sweet and strong at the same time. I was very touched, and it restored so much of my hope and faith in the future that I lost the day of that horrible shooting. I remember reading something on Facebook, looking up online what had happened, and then calling Grant just sobbing. I locked myself in my bathroom so the boys wouldn't hear our conversation, and I just cried and cried. In many ways, I couldn't understand my own emotions; I didn't personally know any of the people involved (though we have friends whose children played with sweet Emilie Parker). But it all made me feel so helpless. My daily efforts and energy are spent with little ones, trying to teach them and keep them safe, trying to prepare them for a hopeful, full life. I already worry what kind of world they will live in someday, and that day seemed to send all my hopes crashing of knowing that, when the time comes, I will send my little ones into a world that will be safe and decent and happy. I remember carrying that sorrow and lost hope for weeks afterward. The choir's broadcast was my personal source of healing with regard to that tragedy and how I was affected personally. The music, the messages, the images, left me sobbing, but this time for much different reasons. I was home with Zach from church, he was napping, and I sat down to watch the program my friend had told me about. I remember being completely captivated, almost unable to breathe as I sat and let peace and comfort and hope fill me up. It was sweet, lighthearted, happy, and brought back to my heart all of the strongest feelings of love, joy, and adoration I have ever felt as a mother. The music and program so beautifully captured the joy and innocence of children. I couldn't help but cry and cry as I listened to the most beautiful arrangements I have ever heard of "I am a Child of God," "Jesus Loves Me," and the hymn, "Children of Our Heavenly Father." I admit, I wasn't too familiar with that hymn before the program, but it was so touching, and the words were perfect for the occasion. I sat down to the piano this morning to play, and randomly flipped to the hymn. I don't even know that I even knew it was in the book, but when I saw the title, my mind went straight back to the program and the feelings I had felt while watching. I played and felt comforted all over, as I read through these sweet words:
Children of our Heavenly Father
Safely in his bosom gather;
Nestling bird nor star in heaven
Such a refuge e'er was given.
Neither life nor death shall ever
From the Lord his children sever;
Unto them his grace he showeth,
And their sorrows all he knoweth.
Though he giveth or he taketh,
God his children ne'er forsaketh
His the loving purpose solely
To preserve them pure and holy.
Isn't it such a beautiful hymn? Why have I never noticed it? Why wasn't it among my cherished favorites? (It is now.) I was reminded on that sacred, sweet morning what a gift children are to this world. The Spirit of our Heavenly Father spoke to me in such a simple and yet profound way, and reminded me of the divine role of parenthood. No wonder Satan wants parents to feel discouraged in their roles. No wonder he is working so hard to make it seem like children and families and the wholesome love of home and family are of little value in today's fast-paced world. How grateful I am to know differently! And for music and programs and teachings of our Heavenly Father that write upon my heart in powerful ways that God is a loving Heavenly Father, and that we, as His children are His greatest of all creations. And how precious to Him are sweet little children. He cherishes their innocence and sweetness. They are the purest witness of His existence and His love.
1 comment:
Hey! I have been bugging you a lot lately! I'm so glad you posted this. I have got to track that episode down! Thank you for sharing that beautiful hymn. I had a very similar reaction to that awful shooting. It was such a wake up call for me. That day started out pretty bad for me. I had been so sick with the stomach flu for three days prior and had been out late each night working at our production of The Nutcracker. That morning I just felt spent and I got on Kimball about his lack of focus with piano, and I dropped my boys off at school after a stressful morning. I had to call Matthew home from work early because I just wasn't feeling well and when he came home we turned on the TV and heard all about the terrible thing at Sandy Hook. It was such a horrible feeling. I just wanted to run to my school and hug my little boys. Matthew had the insight to remember in Alma how the Lord let innocent children die and they would stand as a witness against the evil ones. That gave me some comfort and perspective. It was hard though. The next Monday (after a weekend of hugging and loving my little ones) I dropped the boys off at school and watched them happily run into a building that had armed police officers parked in front and a flag at half mast. I cried again. I watched all of the Kindergarteners run out to their cars at the end of the day and I cried again. It just makes me sad that my kids will grow up in a world that is becoming less and less safe and innocent. I am exercizing my faith that Heavenly Father did save his strongest spirits for the last days and that I will be guided to teach my children so that they can be strong.
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