Pieces of Utah in Oregon

So we've had "bits of Utah" in Oregon over the past few days! First to arrive was one of my best friends from high school, Amber, who came to stay for a couple days at the tail-end of her visit with her sister in Corvallis. It was so fun to have one of the girls here, though at first it felt a little strange to be mixing my two worlds. Amber and I had a ball just chatting and playing with Eliot, and Grant was a sweetie and came home early Wednesday night so Amber and I could catch a chick flick (Bride Wars -- funny, but VERY girlie and silly -- Grant's SOOOO grateful he got himself out of that one!). I then took Amber to Konditorei, a specialty cake shop here in Salem that Grant and I think is one of the few really neat things to show people in Salem itself. We got some sample slices of their amazing specialty cakes, which we brought home to share with Grant -- YUM! On our way to the airport the next day, Amber and I made an obligatory stop at the outlets, where I found many ways to blow my birthday money, and Amber was there to offer much-needed shopping advice! It was a very fun break in my normal routine, and we were all so grateful for the chance to see Amber, who Eliot thought was so much fun! The dumb thing about Amber's visit -- we did not take one single picture together! We tried to snap one right before the movie started, but we both only had our camera phones, and the pictures turned out super dark. I did realize that I never posted pictures from her wedding that I flew back to Utah for back in August, so I'll post those at least.

The other "bit of Utah" that we've been experiencing showed up the morning after Amber got here -- SNOW! Like 2-3 solid inches that actually stuck! Again, no pictures (sorry, our camera batteries have finally given up the ghost), but it was absolutely beautiful to wake up to. With all of the giant evergreens around the house, it looked like a winter wonderland. However, snow in Oregon always causes a bit of a headache because they're just not equipped to deal with it. For example, Grant had to walk to school (probably a good 45 minute to an hour walk) because the buses weren't running because of the snow, and the main street that takes him downtown was a parking lot with people not able to get around on the icy, snowy streets (so it wouldn't have done him any good to call me and have me take him down anyway). For that reason, I told Amber to take the snow back with her to Utah. Still, it was nice to have a little bit of Utah -- some pretty white snow and definitely to have Amber visit -- in Oregon for a couple days.

Here are some of my favorite pictures from Amber's wedding:

This is my friend Amy, who was Amber's "matron of honor" helping Amber get ready for her big moment. Isn't Amber gorgeous? When people would ask me how she looked at the wedding, I told them she looked like a porcelain doll.

Amber with the "the girls" -- most of my closest friends from high school. L to R: Faith, Lori, Amber, me (looking a little snarly -- sorry!), and Amy.

Amber and her new hubby, Mike. I love this picture because it is so Amber! The expression on her face is the one I have in my mind of Amber. Always smiling and laughing.

This picture had to be included. Only out of my deep love for Amber as one of my longest, best friends did I consent to sing at her wedding along with my friend Amy. Amy may have a wedding-quality voice, but I honestly do not. So I was a little apprehensive about the idea to begin with, but then we had some technical difficulties with the sound system, and the extra minutes in front of the crowd felt like an eternity. So here's a photo my friend Lori graciously took for me of me literally biting my lip as I sweated out those eternally long moments.

Love this picture of Mike and Amber, listening to her brother and sister serenade them (with Beastie Boys?!). Shows off her stunning dress and captures a really sweet moment.

Okay, so Amber's not in this picture, but it's one of my favorites from the wedding. Amy, me, Lori, and Faith. I was especially grateful that Faith was there, also "solo" since her husband wasn't able to fly out, either. I felt a little awkward being at the wedding alone, so Faith and I stuck close to each other.

Crowd-Pleaser Punch

I had the chance to throw my sweet friend Karen a baby shower this past weekend, which my other friend Laura documented beautifully with the pictures she took and then posted on her blog. So I'll let you look there if you're interested in how the shower looked/turned out.

One of the things I love most about hosting get-togethers is getting to make recipes I wouldn't make for just me and my family. One of the old recipes I dug out for Karen's shower was a family favorite for a simple party punch. It was a hit and tasted SO good to me. A few people asked for the recipe, so I'd thought I'd post it and share. You'll love how easy and tasty this one is.

Pineapple Slush (Cheryl McEuen, aka "Lil," aka my mom)

1 46-48-oz. can pineapple juice
3 cups orange juice (prepared)
2 cups sugar
3 cups water

Bring sugar and water to a boil over medium heat. Cook 5 minutes. Cool slightly. Freeze.* Serve it slushy with Sprite. Great for big groups.

*To freeze the punch, my family uses a big ice-cream bucket (just the right size for a single batch). Or you can also pour it into ice cube trays (you'll need several), freeze into cubes and serve in individual cups with Sprite. This is really convenient if you're serving an especially large crowd or need it for a setting where a punch bowl isn't convenient (we serve it in cubes at our family luau each summer).

Flowers in February

"When words cannot provide the solace we need or express the joy we feel, when it is simply futile to attempt to explain that which is unexplainable, when logic and reason cannot yield adequate understanding about the injustices and inequities of life, when mortal experience and evaluation are insufficient to produce a desired outcome, and when it seems that perhaps we are so totally alone, truly we are blessed by the tender mercies of the Lord and made mighty even unto the power of deliverance (see 1 Nephi 1:20)." -- Elder David A. Bednar

Unlike my friends and loved ones in Utah who are digging out from inches of fresh snow this week, we have been enjoying beautiful, warm, and even sunny weather in Oregon. The past couple days Eliot and I have even made it out on some long walks together ... without the burdensome hats, gloves and heavy jackets. The fresh air and sunshine have been just what I've needed.

There is Spring in the air. Every now and then on our walks I'll catch the sweet scent of hyacinths, my favorite Spring flower. Even if I can't visibly see where the scent is coming from (which has been the case more than once), it's such a comfort to have that fresh fragrance pushing out the stale winter air and indicating a return of life and color and warmth. And I've been delighted to discover crocuses pushing their way up through the ground, along with some ambitious tulips and daffodils. There are even small buds of pink on some of the trees and bushes, and I can't wait until they're in full bloom.

One of the things I love most about Oregon is that Spring comes early. One day last winter, as I was talking with a woman in my ward about how beautiful Oregon is, she told me, somewhat excitedly and with a hint of pride, "And there will be flowers in February." I've never forgotten that phrase, not just what she said but how she said it. She said it with such hope; it was as if she wanted me to know that yes, despite the rain and frequent cloud cover in Oregon, there were benefits to the climate, including the lush green horizon, and yes, flowers in February, bringing with them an early end to winter and a restoration of life and vibrancy and happiness.

This year I'm especially grateful for flowers in February.

In Need of Understanding ...

If you're reading this, then you're probably someone who's enough a part of my life to be checking in on me out of love and concern. And for that, I thank you right off the bat. But I have another favor to ask of you. I am in need of additional understanding right now.

For quite some time, I have been grappling with the reality that I struggle with depression. In a recent post on her blog, my older sister, Melissa, who fights her own battles with depression, said this, which I find to be absolutely true: "I'm here to tell you that it's a very real issue and not something that you can just wish away or ignore. I have so much compassion for those who struggle with mental and emotional issues. It's a triumph some days just to get out of bed and get the kids fed." As much as I have fought to wish away and ignore my own real struggles with depression -- which is a real illness, not an indicator of a lack of faith, a lack of self control with regard to emotions, diet, exercise, etc., -- I have been largely unsuccessful. It's not something you can "snap out of," make go away by trusting more in the Savior's Atonement, or exercise or pray away. Believe me, I've tried.

So first of all I need you to know where I'm at. Maybe that will give you some understanding as to why I don't return phone calls or e-mails some days (or a lot of days). Hopefully it sheds some light on why at times I shy away from play dates or ward activities. Why I can be a little hermit some/most days. As my sister said, some days it's a victory for me to get out of bed, hopefully shower, and just function at a normal level to make sure Grant and Eliot are fed and cared for. Over the past week or so, I've dreaded having to go out even just to the grocery store. I feel gross. And because I feel so gross on the inside, I feel that even my outward appearance is gross (and some days, depending on the level of hygeine I was able/not able to muster the strength for, I'm sure I do look gross).

I'm not asking for your pity. And please don't bombard me with e-mails and phone calls, because to be honest, I don't really want to talk about it. What I want and need is to find solutions, prayerfully, personally, and realistically, so that I can move forward, find my "normal" life again, even if this burden is never completely lifted from me. That process will probably be slow, and really only needs to involve me, Heavenly Father, and my little family.

So what am I asking for? Just your understanding. Just for you to know what's happening in my world so you don't think I'm a slacker or an avoider or psycho or whatever number of things my "vibe" may be giving off these days. I have come to love and appreciate those angels in my life who don't judge me, who don't act awkwardly around me even with this great "flaw" of mine, who haven't pulled back on their friendships and love for me in fear that I may be extra needy or that my "problems" might mean experiencing some ugly or inconvenient moments with me.

There are so many people in my life -- most anyone I've met over the last couple of years -- that I would love to introduce my "old self" to. I feel like the members of my new ward and anyone I've met since we've moved to Oregon have gotten the short end of the stick. How I wish they could meet the "old" Monica. I was so enthusiastic, such a go-getter, relatively funny, spiritually in tune, and I used to smile and laugh so much. Sure, I'm a decent faker, so you might even think you've seen all those sides of me, but I know I'm not my old self a lot of the time. I know that Monica is still in me, and she shows up from time to time, especially when those angels in my life bring it out of me by laughing with me and loving me. I will get that back, I know I will. I will be the happy, proactive, energetic wife, mother, sister, daughter and friend that I dream of being. I don't expect perfection. I don't expect I will be ever fully rid of this struggle. But I know there will be breaks in my clouds, because I've been promised them. And I know there is joy as great or grander than the depth of my sorrows. It will come. I just need to have faith in the Lord's timetable, but I do know the changes I so desire will come.

Hang in there with me, okay? You will just love the Monica that's really in there. Down in there. I love her and am fighting hard to get her back. Thanks for loving who I am right now in the mean time.

Chicken Cordon Bleu

Grant and I refuse to go out for dinner on Valentine's Day. We know ourselves well enough to know that we would be so annoyed by the crowds, long waits, etc., that we'd just rather stay in and cook an extra special meal at home. And now that Eliot's a part of our family, it makes it nicer to not have to worry about finding a sitter on Valentine's Day. So we set a romantic table for three and whip out our best cooking skills, and voila -- a fabulous, cozy Valentine's dinner at home. This year we made the Lion House Chicken Cordon Bleu. I've made Cordon Bleu before, but "inside-out," where I just wrap chicken breasts or tenders in ham and cheese and skip the breading. But this year, Grant and I worked together to make the "real deal," and it turned out fantastic! In addition to that, we made some of our more involved side dishes and salads, so from start to finish, the meal took about two hours to make. But worth every minute! The only thing missing, in my opinion -- Lion House rolls. Next time.

Here's the recipe for the Cordon Bleu. It's a little involved, but so worth it!

Lion House Chicken Cordon Bleu:
4 whole chicken breasts, halved (so 8 pieces total).
8 thin slices cooked ham (baked or boiled ham slices may be used -- I just used cold cuts)
8 Swiss cheese "fingers," cut about 1 1/2 inches long (mine were longer) and 1/2 inch thick
Salt
Pepper
Thyme or rosemary (we used rosemary, and it was delicious! This really makes the recipe!)
1/4 cup melted butter or margarine
1/2 cup cornflake crumbs

Skin and bone chicken breast halves, if not already done. Place each half between sheets of plastic wrap, and pound with meat mallet to about 1/8-inch thickness.

On each ham slice, place a finger of cheese. Sprinkle lightly with seasonings. Roll ham and cheese jelly-roll style, then roll each chicken breast with ham and cheese inside. Tuck in ends and seal well. (Tie rolls if necessary, or fasten edges with toothpicks. We didn't do this. We found that if the meat is well flattened/pounded out, it wraps nicely around the ham and cheese and all folds together/stays in place nicely.) Dip each roll in melted butter, then roll in cornflake crumbs, turning to thoroughly coat each roll. My tip on this part -- have one person in charge of the non-chicken portion (wrapping the meat & cheese and sprinkling the spices) and another rolling and dipping the chicken.

Place rolls in a 9x13x2-inch baking dish. Bake, uncovered, in a 400-degree F. oven for about 40 minutes, or until chicken is golden brown. Serve with Cordon Bleu Sauce, if desired. Makes 6-8 servings (we made half of this amount and had enough for two dinners).

Cordon Bleu Sauce:
1 can (10 1/2 ounces) cream of chicken soup
1/2 cup sour cream
Juice of 1 lemon (about 1/3 cup)

Blend ingredients and heat. Serve over chicken rolls, if desired. Makes about 2 cups, 8 servings of 1/4 cup each.

My Everything . . .

In the spirit of Valentine's Day, this post is all about my sweetheart, Grant. I've even gone ahead and posted some "old-school" pictures of us for your enjoyment. Grant and I met in high school and went to a number of school dances together. Pictured in this post are our Sadie Hawkins picture (our first school dance together .. awww!) and Prom (our last school dance together .. awww!). Go ahead and snicker all you want. We do. :)

In all seriousness, Grant is my perfect match and I just adore him. He cracks me up without meaning to, he's so positive and happy, he works so hard, and he treats me better than anyone has ever, ever treated me. He set the standard pretty high back in those high school days, and whether I was conscious of it or not, no one ever lived up to the expectation he established. I'm so grateful for your friendship, your patience, and your love, hon. Happy heart day to you, my favorite person in the whole world. My everything.

Celebrating My Age

This birthday was a big one. In case you can't see it clearly, those candles spell out "30." 30!! When did that happen?! I have to be honest and say it was a little tough to swallow. Not that I feel that 30 is old (because I don't feel old), but I just feel a little "behind" for 30. Just ready to be out of the schooling phase, the renting phase and ready to move on to a family with a home and established career phase. But we're getting there, even if we're a little behind our peers in the process, right?! The following pictures show some of the great things done for me to help make my 30th birthday so nice.

Sunday morning I woke up to Grant's awesome decorating -- streamers hanging from my bedroom doorway and all over the kitchen. He did a fabulous job! Eliot loves the balloons and amazingly isn't terrified when he pops them.


The roses were also from Grant. Peach are my favorite, and these were especially beautiful.

A display of all the sweet things I got from Grant and friends from the ward. Lots of pampering body washes, scrubs, and lotions, plenty of yummy chocolate, and other thoughtful gifts. Thanks to everyone for being so generous. I was also very appreciative of the e-mails, Facebook comments, and phone calls throughout the day. Can't wait to sit down and watch The Sound of Music, nibble on my chocolate and give myself a pedicure!

All in all, I'd have to say turning 30 wasn't so bad. I thought I'd "take a moment to celebrate my age" and list the things I loved in my first 30 years and the things I'm looking forward to in the next 30.

What I loved about my first 30 years:

• A wonderful, memorable childhood. I have parents that taught me good work ethics, who provided me with great opportunities for education, to develop my talents, to travel, and to become a responsible person. They love me immensely and worked tirelessly and cheerfully to provide for my needs and so many wants. I know that I took for granted what a happy childhood I was blessed to have. Another wonderful part of that childhood was the influence of amazing grandparents and extended family on my life. I have truly been blessed with a wonderful heritage.
• Surviving my adolescent years and growing out of my dorky stage of glasses, braces, and awkwardness into a somewhat normal person. In junior high and high school, I formed meaningful friendships with good people, many of which remain in place today. I'm especially grateful for the friendship I formed with a young man named Grant!
  
• Meeting Grant in high school and then developing our relationship over the years until we finally realized we were just meant to be together. He is my greatest friend and my favorite person and absolutely the perfect match for me. I love him more than I can say.
• Gaining a great education, even though it took me a while to finish up, which included a fabulous experience away from home at Ricks College (Now BYU-Idaho -- see, I AM old, huh!). I had the best experience and met wonderful people there, including roommates that I still remain in touch with, and had great opportunities to progress and find my own niche. I was also very blessed to finish my degree at BYU in Provo, the best part of which was working at the MTC after my mission. Hands down the best job in the world.
• Serving my mission in Spain. One of the most meaningful, faith-building, difficult, and stretching things I've ever done. My life would not be the same if I hadn't gone. My testimony of the gospel, my relationship with the Savior, the foundation I built of gospel knowledge and so many other skills just wouldn't be what they are today without my mission. I loved the people of Spain and think all the time about how much I'd love to go back and see the people I taught. I miss that time of my life very, very much.
• Getting married and roughing it through our first few years in a scary, yet wonderful little apartment in southwest Provo, living blissfully on nothing but being incredibly happy. One of the best parts about our first married years was our unforgettable first ward -- the Freedom First Ward, where we had unusual opportunities to serve, formed eternal friendships and saw first-hand some of the most Christ-like service we will probably ever witness.
• Welcoming Eliot into our family as our first and to this point only child. We love him more fully than we could have ever imagined. He has brought "life" to our life and a joy we weren't fully prepared for.
• Starting up law school and moving to Oregon. It was tough to leave family and the life we were so comfortable in, but this has been the absolute perfect fit for Grant and for us as a family. As we have had to rely on each other and our ward "family" and friends away from home, we have grown closer together and have formed some meaningful friendships that we're sure will endure for many years. We have seen some beautiful places together and have very much enjoyed this time "away." It has been a stretching, strengthening time for our family.

What I look forward to in my next 30 years:

• Finishing law school, passing the bar, and watching Grant excel in a satisfying, successful career. I know he has a lot of good to do and am so proud of his sacrifice for the good of our family. What a sense of accomplishment we look forward to in just the next couple years as he finishes his degree and enters the legal field. Whew -- can't wait!!
• Hopefully getting to move back closer to family so Eliot can enjoy more fully his relationships with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins (and so we can enjoy those same people, too!).
• Getting into a home of our own and finally laying down our roots somewhere more permanent. I can't wait to decorate and furnish and make our house a home someday.
• Growing our little family and getting to see what spirits Heavenly Father has reserved for our family. More than anything else, I look forward to mothering and loving and cherishing my family.
• Getting to stretch and grow in new/different callings in the Church. As much as I have loved my callings in Relief Society, I look forward to getting to serve in Primary and Young Women someday, which I've never had the opportunity to do so far.
• Getting to make/meet new friends and continue our associations with those that we have already made.
• I hope to continue my education someday and pursue a Master's degree. I think I'd like to get one in the field of communications and become an editor of some sort, but I may change my mind over the next 15-20 years.
• Though I never planned on it, I would really enjoy continuing to teach piano lessons from my home. I dream of someday being able to own a grand piano that I can enjoy playing, our children can learn to play on, and even Grant says he'd like to learn! My only rule -- I won't teach Grant or our children to play (I'll help them learn, but I won't be their sole teacher -- it's a conflict of interests in my book.).
• Hopefully do some traveling. I would love to see New York City at Christmas time, Washington, D.C. when the cherry blossoms are in bloom, I'd love to go back to Spain and on a Mediterranean cruise so I could see France, Italy, Greece, etc. I've always wanted to visit Norway and Quebec, I'd love to take my whole family to Hawaii to see the places that are so meaningful to me and my family, I'd like to visit Guatemala and sights in Central and South America, I've never seen the Church history sites in Pennsylvania and New York, I have yet to see the Nauvoo temple . . . so many places to see.

I've realized what a blessed, full life I've had -- not perfect, but rich in meaning and memories. And I've got so much I'm looking forward to, bumps and challenges and all. Here's to the next 30!

Conquering My Fears

Hello, my name is Monica, and I'm deathly afraid of sewing. I like to consider myself a crafty person, but sewing and anything related are definite phobias of mine. Maybe because I'm such an "eyeball it" kind of person and sewing feels so much less forgiving -- everything seems so final once you've sewn it (and I know it's not -- I picked out many a project in 8th grade sewing, believe me). BUT, I decided I needed to conquer my fears, because I've wanted to learn how to make hooded baby towels for a long time, and I have a friend that not only knows how to make them, but was willing to show me. And I have access to a sewing machine. So I knew I needed to take advantage of the opportunity. So, deep breath, I tried it, and . . . not so bad! I think I could do it again all by myself! Which is a good thing because a lot family and friends are having babies, and I've got a lot of towels to make . . .

Getting started -- so scary!

I almost look like I know what I'm doing, huh.

Karen was an absolute angel for being patient enough to walk me
through this project . . . and to put up with my dorkiness!

The finished product. Don't look too close -- guaranteed you'll find
a few mistakes. Still, not bad for my first attempt!

One down and only how many to go?

I Could Not Be More Excited About . . .

A little envelope that came in the mail last week . . . with WICKED tickets in it!

We were very bummed over Christmas break when tickets for the showings in Utah this summer sold out in a matter of hours. But lo and behold, it's going to be in Portland -- AND over Grant's Spring Break, which means that his two sisters and my cousin Becky who are coming to visit during Spring Break are going to get to come with us!

This will be Grant's first Broadway experience, and I know he's going to LOVE it! This is a bit of a splurge for us, but every now and then you really just need to have something to look forward to. And this all had perfect timing. The tickets arrived just days before my birthday. Happy Birthday to me!

Santa's Ark

Eliot got a Fisher Price Noah's Ark for Christmas, and now that he's excited about saying animal names and sounds, it's one of his favorite toys to play with. He loves to pick up the animals and declare "Yi-yah!" (lion) or make a trumpet sound through his lips for the elephant. So I was running through each of the animals with Eliot today and asking him, "What's this?" or "What does the _____ say?". I realized we've mixed up some concepts, though, when I picked up Noah and Eliot said, "Ho, ho, ho!" Almost . . . but not quite. Add to the story that I had literally just read about Noah in the scriptures this morning, and the irony of it all has me thinking I'm never going to think of Noah and his ark in the same light again.